Satisfying Desires
by Y.L.O.A.K
Summary: It's Harry's 5th year at Hogwarts and everything is going to hell. Nightmares Harry never understands or remembers plague him at night and it all started when Draco came to him. Demanding one thing, to be fuck buddies. With Harry beginning to lose himself in so many emotions, can the two rivals become something more? Or will someone else steal Harry's heart? Cedric x Harry x Draco
1. Nothing to Him

Harry laid naked in the stranger's bed, staring at the ceiling that he had come to know so well. A quick glance at the clock caused him to sigh quietly when he realized how little time he had left before he had to sneak back into his room. He glanced at the sleeping form next to him, snoring peacefully in their sleep. Harry turned onto his side and rested his head on his now folded arm, facing the small man. His eyes scanned over the blonde hair that looked silky and the very pale skin. The grey piercing eyes that were usually full of unreadable emotions were now closed and the lines on his face now relaxed, making him look as peaceful as ever. Continuing his observation, Harry examined the small, but still muscular body, for a few minutes, taking in the marks he had left behind. Scratches covered the pale hips, hickies and bite marks scattered everywhere, he didn't even remember biting in some of the areas, then again he didn't remember much after shagging the blonde. The sex was, in all honesty, mind blowing for Harry and it was a blur of hot breath, wet noises, and moans.

Sighing again and focusing on making his boner go away, Harry turned away from the beautiful form and stared back at the ceiling. As much as Harry didn't want to admit it, Draco Malfoy was an incredibly handsome wizard and he had to stop himself from staring sometimes.

That's right, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy had slept together, but this wasn't the first time. How many times it had been now? Harry had already lost count, not that he really bothered to keep track anyway. The point was this had happened so many times it was becoming a regular part of Harry's daily life now. And it was beginning to take a toll on him, both physically and emotionally.

Harry couldn't remember how things had turned in this direction, what had caused this sudden spark of interest, if you could even call it that, between two enemies, complete opposites of each other. Him a Gryffindor and the other a Slytherin, the two were just never meant to be together in any kind of way. It was rare, almost forbidden in a sense. Folding his arms behind his head, he continued to look at the ceiling, wondering how long this had been going on for now. A month? Maybe two? Harry didn't remember, he only remembered Malfoy's sudden proposal to him when he cornered him in the abandoned boy's toiletries.

"_I have a request for you Potter..." Draco said quietly, almost in a whisper. It was as if he was afraid someone was listening despite it being only them, "Both you and I have curious thoughts about the same sex, and don't try to deny it, I've seen the looks you've given to some of the older and handsome students here and I find it quite amusing whenever a girl is trying to flirt her way to get into your pants, your look is rather hilarious with a disgusted face."_

_Harry felt his heart stop for a moment, feeling alarmed at Draco's boldness. He thought he was discrete about his newly found sexuality but apparently not. But he was more focused on what Draco had said, about being curious in men._

_"How...When did you...find out?" Harry asked, feeling slightly stupid for not trying to deny anything._

_"As for me being curious with the same sex, I assure you none of that is any of your business so keep your nose out of it and don't question me." Draco said harshly, "Therefore I'd like to know if you'd be interested in a sexual relationship. ONLY sex. None of that mushy and love bullshit. No feelings, no strings or attachments, no love. Just a meeting between us every so often, a few times a week or so, to have raw and hard sex." Draco said this all with a straight emotionless face while slowly advancing on Harry._

_"W-Wait Malfoy! What-What are you doing?!" Harry protested when he came nearer backing up against the wall, "This isn't right, we can't-" _

_Draco silenced him with a rough kiss, pushing his body against his as he tangled his lanky fingers in Harry's hair. Harry tried pushing him off, but he couldn't deny the good feeling his body was having because Merlin could Draco kiss. Soon Harry felt his hands slide up Draco's shirt, causing Draco to shiver slightly when the coldness in the room touched his exposed skin. Harry tried to deepen the kiss, wanting more of Draco's hot tongue but Draco pulled away, licking his lips slightly. Harry came to his senses and pressed himself back against the wall again. His heart was beating rapidly, Harry had never kissed anyone like that before, it frightened him how much his body seemed to want it despite his rejections to it._

_He was breathing hard and could only watch when Draco started tugging his robe and shirt off in the process, revealing his slender, pale muscular body. Harry almost choked as he scanned him from top to bottom slowly before he reached the beautiful grey eyes piercing full of lust and want._

_Draco got down on his knees before Harry, his hand beginning to unzip his pants._

_"M-Malfoy, s-stop-" Harry weakly protested, biting his tongue and screwing his eyes shut when he felt a warm hand on his aching length. "D-Dammit.." He cursed under his breath slightly. He clenched his jaw tightly when Draco began to tease him with by thumbing over his head, scratching at the wall as his breath began to quicken._

_"I advise you accept my request because after all," Draco whispered before putting his tongue and mouth to work, "A Malfoy gets what he wants. And what I want is you Potter, and I want you now."_

Harry didn't know why he had agreed to these conditions, especially to Malfoy but he had. He thought he would regret it but something about Malfoy kept him coming back. The feeling he had every time he was with him was something he couldn't really identify, but it was the feeling he felt whenever he returned to Hogwarts. The feeling of returning to something you were familiar with, but he couldn't explain why he felt this way around Malfoy.

Harry also hadn't been a virgin before he and Malfoy had shagged that time, he had slept around quite a bit. Ginny and him hadn't worked out so they broke things off a few days after getting together early in fourth year, despite Ron trying to convince them they could work things out. It's not that Harry didn't like her, he just didn't see himself being with her and he had decided to end the relationship because he didn't want to hurt Ginny. They did agree to have time apart from one another at first, and she even started dating again.

After Ginny, Harry tried dating again too, but found no interest in any women whatsoever. He had only shagged them because he didn't want anyone to find out that he actually preferred males, whom he never experimented with until Malfoy strutted along.

Harry tried remembering when he lost his 'homosexual virginity' but he honestly didn't remember much of what happened after Malfoy's proposal. It was all a blur, but he faintly remembered cold lips touching his neck, clothes being torn off, scratches down his back which was soon followed by intense heat, tightness around him as he plunged himself deeper into it, a voice screaming his name over and over…And that was it. It was almost like a dream every time he had sex with Malfoy.

The memory made Harry shiver as memories of their nightly escapades together flooded through his mind. Most of the time they took place in Draco's own private room, which he apparently had since he first came to Hogwarts but other times when the sex drive was high for Malfoy, he led Harry to a new place. Empty classrooms, janitor closets in the halls, and one of Malfoy's favorites, The Room of Requirement, which gave them whatever the needed when Malfoy was feeling particularly kinky and wanted to be teased or tortured by Harry. Most of the time Malfoy would lure Harry to the Astronomy Tower, which was his favorite.

He looked over at Malfoy, who had shifted in his sleep and moved closer to him, seeking warmth. It was chilly in the Slytherin common room, almost always and it took Harry some time to get used to. Harry studied his naked body carefully again, he saw a few things he hadn't seen. The scratches were accompanied by bruises that covered his waist and his now exposed back, many hickies were all over his back as well. Harry always wondered how Malfoy had managed to walk or even talk the morning after he had fucked him all night and made him scream his name loud enough to wake the entire school. He wasn't being cocky but Malfoy always went a good two or three rounds before finally being too exhausted to continue. He didn't think his small body could handle what it was receiving but he somehow managed to make it through the day without as much as wincing and then leading Harry off somewhere for another night together.

The hickies were easily noticed by friends and crushes, who were especially angry, but Malfoy was known for fooling around with girls often and Harry was glad no one questioned him about the marks covering his pale skin, the last thing he needed was the entire wizard world knowing the Slytherin Prince had been shagged by the Boy-Who-Lived. As for him, his friends knew he shagged every once in a while but they were beginning to question him when his neck was frequently covered with marks that took days to disappear, only to be replaced with new ones by then, it was truly an endless cycle. Ron had congratulated Harry, thinking he was finally beginning to settle down and he and Hermione figured he was secretly seeing someone but just didn't want to announce anything yet. They still questioned him often and pushed to meet his 'secret girlfriend' but he always shot down their requests despite their obvious disappointment.

Harry watched Malfoy's chest rise and fall peacefully as he snuggled against Harry's chest, he didn't think he'd ever seen him look so relaxed before and he began to reach out to him, wanting to stroke his cheek or run his fingers through what he hoped was soft hair but stopped, remembering the conditions and threats Malfoy had,

"_No tender touching or gentle caresses awake or asleep or I'll hex you_"

Pulling his hand back, he looked away from the blonde and continued to let him cuddle against him. Harry didn't care if the blonde got special treatment and he never told Malfoy he cuddled him in his sleep. He was afraid he'd stop allowing him to spend the night and Harry didn't want to lose that privilege. As much as he and Malfoy disliked each other in the past, Harry couldn't get enough of him now and he always wanted to be around him.

Looking towards the window, Harry saw the sun rising and knew he should be leaving soon. Ron and the others would be awake and they'd be alarmed if he wasn't in bed by the time they would get up for breakfast had. He stayed there for a moment though, it was almost winter time at Hogwarts and there was a small layer of snow covering the ground outside. Christmas time was coming soon and students would be leaving to go home to their families, only he would be the only one to stay behind. Harry still felt awkward being around Ginny, she did as well, so he decided to hang back this year instead of going to the Burrow.

Getting out the bed quietly, Harry looked for his discarded clothes and did his best to not wake Malfoy up. He had learned the hard way that he wasn't a morning person in the slightest and he didn't want to deal with an extremely annoyed Malfoy, he was already annoying as it was but he somehow got more difficult to deal with when he was woken up early. He frowned as a memory popped into his mind, recalling the night when they had accidentally fallen asleep in the Room of Requirement after a busy evening together. He had woken up when it was nearly breakfast and tried getting Malfoy up so he would go to his room, but instead, when he had managed to wake him, a punch hit Harry hard in the jaw, leaving a bruise. It had been difficult trying to think of a lie when his friends saw his swollen jaw and cheek, it having a bruise for a while. He just lied to them and told them that his 'girlfriend' and he had gotten into a small argument when he went to see her this morning. George and Fred teased him relentlessly about it.

Rubbing his jaw as the memory faded away, he slipped into his clothes quickly, looking over to Malfoy, who was still sleeping. He ran a hand through his messy black hair and looked in the mirror for any marks Malfoy might've left behind, last night he had been feeling rather nippy and bit Harry whenever he got the chance, much to his dislike, leaving Harry no choice but to put him face down and take him from behind. Harry thumbed over a bite mark just near his jawline and frowned, wondering how he was going to explain this to his friends but decided to worry about that later.

Fixing his collar so he could hide the mark a bit, he grabbed the Cloak of Invisibility which was thrown to the side and put it on, leaving his head visible. He looked over at Malfoy again and walked over to the bed, staring down at him sleeping for a moment. Harry always wondered why Malfoy didn't want them to kiss when they had sex, aside from the first time, but didn't question his requests, he never did.

Harry badly wanted to touch him, feel him in a different way other than sexual but shaking his head, he grabbed the comforter and pulled it careful over Malfoy who gladly accepted it and pulled it closer to him. He knew Malfoy would never see him more than someone that just satisfied his desires and for some reason that made his heart sting in pain, when another memory resurfaced. It was one Harry wished he could forget but it still sometimes kept him up at night and distracted him from doing his homework or classwork, which got him detention a few times from Snape.

_Harry and Malfoy had just finally climaxed for the final time after having shagged for hours, Malfoy was finally exhausted and he collapsed onto his messy bed, ready for some sleep. Harry stared down at him and felt his heart begin to tighten up as he looked at the messy blonde. His beautiful white hair falling over his face and covering his eyes slightly, his chest heaving up and down as he tried to catch his breath, his lips slightly parted. Harry didn't know why but he felt a strong urge to kiss him, he never felt it in the previous shagging times but now, now he wanted to taste those pink lips and kiss him like they had done before. He leaned forward, breathing a bit hard and trying to keep himself up so he wouldn't fall and crush the blonde, but he was pushed back. Malfoy had his eyes opened slightly and they were fogged with an emotion Harry knew well, it was how he always looked at him whenever he got carried away and tried to be tender with him. Regret. "D..don't." Malfoy had breathed out and Harry swallowed, his heart shattering and he simply pushed himself away from the blonde, not saying a word and he left after that._

Coming back to reality, and giving the blonde one last glance, Harry pulled the hood over his head, leaving the room and Slytherin dorm rooms silently, luckily the Slytherins were kind of lazy Monday mornings and slept in so he had no issue leaving without anyone seeing him.

As Harry briskly walked down the halls away from the dungeon, he wondered if what he and Malfoy were doing made them lovers of some sort. He stopped abruptly, turning and staring at the sun which was making the snowy scenery before him look stunning. Deep down, he hoped that Malfoy would somehow stay with him for the holidays, even if there was the slightest chance he couldn't help but had some hope. Harry turned back to the hallway and continued walking, the answer to his question becoming clear, even though it made his stomach turn and caused his heart to ache.

He and Malfoy weren't lovers.

They were merely fuck buddies.

* * *

**_I want to completely re-make this story, I feel it is lacking and I want to do better. For myself and for you as well. _****_This is the new and improved chapter for Satisfying Desires. I hope to rewrite and fix every chapter before creating a new one. It has been far too long and I want to complete this story already, I had such a beautiful plan made for it and its time I brought those ideas to life. I hope to leave less plot holes, expand to more main characters, and to explain things a bit more. I hope you enjoy this updated version more then the original. Reviews are always appreciated._**


	2. Unreadable Emotions

_**They were merely fuck buddies.**_

Harry awoke to the sound of an alarm ringing off, making him jump. He groaned loudly afterward, rubbing his irritated eyes. He had hardly gotten an hour of sleep and felt exhausted, his body ached and seemed to be more stiff then usual, it even hurt to move. Still feeling drowsy, Harry flopped back down into his soft bed, pulling the pillow over his head as he tried to muffle out the high pitched sound that was making his ears ache.

He heard Ron groan loudly and slam the alarm clock with a loud clang, the high pitched noise dulling down for a few seconds before going silent entirely. Harry honestly didn't know how it wasn't broken after all these years of Ron slamming it, knocking it off his nightstand, and the rare occasions of when he would throw it across the room. Hermione had offered several times to fix it but both boys declined her offer every time. It was odd to think of it not looking dented and smashed, to them it was a part of their time at Hogwarts and was something they could look back on when they were older. Even though it looked like a piece of junk, it was a gift they had gotten from Ron's parents their first year and it actually meant a lot to the two boys.

Harry still had the pillow over his head despite there being no noise to bother him. He felt depression weighing down on him as it always did after he spent the night with Malfoy and Harry debated whether or not it was worth getting up today. His lack of sleep, and additional 'exercise' these past few days were really beginning to take a toll on his body. Plus it was cold in the castle since it had snowed and Harry really _really_ didn't want to leave his incredibly warm and soft bed.

Finally deciding to stay in bed all day and just skip classes, Harry buried himself deeper into his heap of blankets. After all, he could have Hermione help him with the work that he missed. She always nagged at him and Ron to keep on top of their work, but Harry knew she would help him either way, but of course, only to a certain extent. Harry didn't even want to think about the essay he had due this week that still hadn't started due to distractions.

As Harry was about to fall back his asleep, his stomach growled, loudly and painfully. Cursing himself for skipping dinner last night to go with Malfoy, Harry knew he couldn't skip breakfast again, it would only make him sick and cause more painful stomach cramps. And if he decided to go to breakfast, he would have no other choice but to go to his classes that day.

Sighing loudly in defeat Harry slowly sat up, stretching out his ack and letting out a satisfied sigh when his joints cracked, making his body a little less stiff. Blindly reaching for his glasses, he grasped them and slipped them on. Harry grumbled at the coldness in the air, causing him to get goosebumps while sending an unpleasant shiver through his body. Using the blanket as a shield from the cold, he wrapped it around him in annoyance before looking at the redhead who hadn't moved,

"Ron…" Harry croaked out, "Get up, we've only got…" He squinted at the demolished alarm clock, "An hour before classes start. We oughta get some breakfast."

When he received no response from Ron, Harry persuaded him,

"If we don't hurry all the bacon and sausage will be gone."

Nothing more was said as Ron quickly got up at the thought of missing out on his favorite parts of breakfast, it made Harry's own stomach grumble and mouth water at the thought of food. It made Harry chuckle slightly at his friends eagerness and he shook his head slightly, stretching his aching body some more, "_Hasn't changed one bit since I've known him.._"

Their other roommates also got up when he mentioned breakfast, Neville banging his head on his bed post as he hurried to get dressed, Dean was already gone, and Seamus was already up before, buttoning up his robe. Harry slowly got out of bed before fumbling through his chest for clean clothes. He sniffed a wrinkled shirt and decided it was clean enough so he slipped it on over quickly, trying to beat the cold from nipping at his exposed skin. Ron's voice broke the silence in the room,

"Oi, Harry, is that another.." Ron motioned at his neck, _"..another _hicky?_"_

Harry flushed and instinctively covered it, he had forgotten it was there. Avoiding everyone's gaze on him and he nodded slightly and sighed out,

"Yeah, it is.."

"Ah, so _that's _why you skipped dinner last night eh? You were busy shagging your 'secret girlfriend!' Ron said teasingly, "She keep you busy all night again? You kinda look like shit..No offense."

Harry threw him a dirty look but said nothing. He was way too tired to argue back, and too tired to come up with a smart remark. His brain still needed some time to wake up and right now, all it was demanding for was food. Seamus and Ron exchanged smiles and the two started teasing Harry like Fred and George did when they found out about Harry's 'girlfriend',

"The Boy Who Lived is getting shagged!" Seamus shouted before adding on, "Yer gonna get a infection if ya keep this up, better slow down there. Ya don't wanna hurt lil Harry." He aid while motioning to his lower body part.

"At least I get shagged, virgin boy." Harry mumbled back, as the boys howled with laughter. Luckily his insult went unheard by the three boys. He felt slightly relieved Seamus hadn't heard him though since that was kind of a low blow and the last thing he wanted was another bruised face.

"Of course he is, who wouldn't want to shag _Harry Potter! Ooh!_" Ron said in a girly voice as he batted his eyelashes in a girly way. _"Kiss me Harry, kiss me_-Ack!"

Harry threw a pillow at Ron tiredly but smirked when it hit Ron right in the face, making him topple over onto the floor.

"That hurt you arse!" Ron shouted as he threw the pillow back, missing completely and nearly hitting Neville instead, who tried to dodge but landed up hitting his head on the bedpost again.

"Sorry not sorry." Harry said back, smirking again when he received a dirty look.

Seamus laughed at the two before making his own comment on the previous subject,

"I don't know, yer sister migh' wanna shag 'em. She almost did, didn't she Harry?"

Harry didn't have a chance to respond, not that he wanted to, before Ron piped up,

"Hey! Don't talk about Ginny like that! That's not an image I want to picture about my best friend and little sister!" Ron shouted before tossing another pillow at Seamus who dodged.

"It's true though!" Seamus said defensively, enjoying getting a rise out of Ron so he pushed further, "And she aint little anymore Ron, after all, 'ave you seen how nice she's grown-" Seamus said with a mischievous smirk, his hands demonstrated a women with a larger chest size.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Ron shouted, his face and the tips of his ears turning slightly red. Seamus only smiled larger at his reaction.

"…I think Ginny is quite beautiful." Neville's soft voice said as he struggled to fix his knotted tie.

Harry, Ron, and Seamus all looked at Neville oddly, each had an eyebrow raised. Neville looked at them alarmed and froze, blushing slightly,

"…What?" He squeaked out, "Did I say something wrong?"

Turning away from him, Ron launched another pillow at Seamus, hitting him this time. This led the two to get into a rough pillow fight, almost getting into a full on fight until Harry reminded them they didn't have much time left before classes. He regretted interrupting them when they instead decided to play twenty questions with him as they walked to breakfast together. Harry was beginning to get annoyed about being bothered so much but was also glad to have his mind distracted by these gits for friends and he forgot about Malfoy and his depression temporarily. Harry was now focused on trying to ignore the questions that were being thrown at him, especially the inappropriate ones.

"So Harry, does this girl have a nice arse?" Seamus asked curiously, "Its always nice to have somethin' to hold onto when yer snogging each other."

"I've been more into breasts if you ask me," Ron commented before asking, "She any good in bed?"

"Is she in our house or our year?" Neville asked quietly, unlike Seamus and Ron, he asked the less extreme questions.

"Of course she is," Ron answered, "Harry wouldn't go outside of his comfort zone after what happened with," he whispered, covering his mouth slightly, "with Cho Chang and Diggory."

"You are aware I can perfectly hear you Ron?" Harry said as he stopped to turn to the redhead, "And just so you know she _is _in another house and _is _in our year." Harry started walking again before he stopped, "Oh, and she is _spectacular _in the bedroom." Harry thought answering some questions would get them to lay off but if anything it made them more persistent.

"When do we get to meet her then Harry?" Neville asked, seemingly satisfied he had his questions answered.

"Yeah Harry, you've been seeing this gal since the beginnin' of the year, it's bout time we got to meet her don't ya think guys?" Seamus said, Neville and Ron nodding their heads in unison.

"Maybe she's just shy." Ron guessed, shrugging his shoulders, "Shy girls tend to be the most _'spectacular' _in bed."

Harry sighed, rubbing his temples and he looked at the boys behind him who all had desperate expressions, wanting more details or answers. Harry sighed again, this time in defeat,

"Look, first off I want to make something clear here," Harry started, "What we have..it's nothing what you guys are expecting it to be, were not really together in that way so she isn't exactly my girlfriend.."

Harry felt a sharp pain in his chest, it hurt to say that, especially when Malfoy meant so much to him. He was beginning to realize he was doing exactly what Malfoy couldn't emphasize enough. _Don't gain feelings._

Ron looked at him confused and concerned, "..But I thou-"

Harry cut him off, "That's what you thought Ron but it isn't true, I'm not settling down or anything, not right now anyway."

"So what exactly is happening between you two?" Ron asked, amusement all gone. Harry could tell he felt bad for teasing him, Seamus and Neville had similar expressions.

"She doesn't want a full on relationship with me and isn't really interested in relationships, it's more of a 'friends with benefits' type of thing.." Harry shrugged, trying not to look bummed out.

"So a fuck buddy?" Ron clarified for him, he was beginning to get a little angry, "Why the hell would you want something like that?! That's not something you would want!"

"Call it whatever you want, and I don't know why but I've agreed to it already." Harry said defensively, "And I haven't figured out what I want ye, ever since me and Ginny broke up, so for now I'm just..trying new things and seeing where it takes me."

"But Harry-"

Harry held up a hand, silencing his friend,

"Look, I am fine Ron, I can assure you that. Can we just forget it and actually make it to breakfast?"

Ron let out a huff silent, and the three boys looked at each other and chose not say anything. Instead they went to the Great Hall in silence, complete awkward silence.

Hermione was already there, reading _Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them_. Again. Seamus and Neville went off by themselves and Ron sat next to Hermione, kissing her cheek tenderly as he murmured quietly to her, "Good morning love, you look beautiful today."

Harry smiled at his two best friends, they got together over the summer at the Burrow when Ron finally told her how he felt about her, although he refused to believe he had feelings for Hermione at first. It wasn't until Krum came into the picture that Ron finally realized what he was missing out on and how oblivious he was to Hermione's affections towards him.

His proposal was also rather funny actually, Ron spent an hour getting dressed properly and he even combed his hair, using way to much gel to keep it slicked back and looking neat. He was practicing what he was going to say and was talking to himself in the mirror when Hermione heard him and nonetheless, she confessed too.

They had been dating ever since and Harry was happy for them, even though he was miserable with the whole Malfoy thing and he sometimes got a little jealous that they were soaring on cloud nine while he seemed to be crashing down from cloud nine, not that he had ever really been there in the first place but in the end he was happy that his friends were happy. That's all that truly mattered to him and he'd never wish anything ill upon their relationship.

Thinking of Malfoy, Harry looked up towards the Slytherin table, looking for the blonde eagerly. He always tried to catch a glimpse of him whenever he had the chance, he couldn't help himself and was often catching himself looking for Malfoy during meals and in class. After Ron had called him out on it, he tried to do it less but it was hard, seeing the blonde always made Harry feel a little more happy.

Harry took a sip of his juice, his eyes continued to dart back and forth and they finally stopped when he saw him. Malfoy was sitting next to Blaise, both sitting in front of Goyle and Crabbe, who were basically two large mountains, having hit another growth spurt over the summer. He seemed to be laughing an Harry didn't know what he was laughing about at first until he saw Pansy Parkinson pulling a prank on a group of young Ravenclaws. It seemed she had bewitched the one in the back, a young boy, and made his shoelaces know together. He of course fell forward and took down the entire group with him, like a domino effect.

As they tried to recollect themselves, Parkinson and Malfoy were sneering and laughing among themselves. Blaise even seemed to smile slightly before going monotone again. Parkinson suddenly latched herself onto Malfoy's arm, resting her head upon his shoulder. Harry felt an immediate surge of jealousy and anger pass through him. He felt shocked when Malfoy didn't do anything and allowed her to stay there, which made Parkinson smile with delight. Harry glared at the two, hating how they seemed like they were a couple but he stop staring. After all how _dare she touch what was his._

Harry blinked, breaking the trance he was in and felt alarmed at the claim he just made. Malfoy wasn't his, they weren't in a relationship, he had no say so whatsoever over what Malfoy decided to do. Harry finally tore his gaze away, feeling sick at the idea of Malfoy being with anyone else other then him. Insecurities began rising up, and he began wondering if he wasn't the only one Malfoy was fooling around with. Was he with Parkinson too? Or maybe, Harry looked over the Slytherin table, had any of them seen Malfoy in the same way he did? He looked over at the other houses, even his own house and couldn't shake off the worrying feeling he had that others may be involved with Malfoy

Harry swiftly took another gulp of his juice, trying to ease the pain he felt in his stomach as he pushed the thoughts into the depths of his mind. He looked over at Malfoy and Parkinson again, feeling a little better when he saw they had separated from one another. Realizing he had been quiet for some time now, Harry cautiously looked around his table to make sure no one had noticed his behavior. Luckily, everyone seemed to be interested in their own conversations with one another, including Ron and Hermione, who were busy discussing over some type of spider Ron kept insisting he had seen at the Burrow even though Hermione told him it was only found in Southern Australia.

Harry watched them for a moment. Ron was absentmindedly holding Hermione close to him and had an arm around her shoulder, still arguing before he kissed her in an attempt to silence her. It worked, and Hermione was left blushing like mad. She tried to push Ron away from her and tried to focus on her book, telling him to stop being inappropriate but Harry could tell she didn't actually mean it when he saw her small smile. Ron noticed it too and pulled her closer to him, this time wrapping an arm around her small frame.

Harry wondered if he would ever have something like that. He and Ginny had tried but it always felt awkward, whereas for Hermione and Ron it was just apart of their life now. He also wondered if Malfoy acted like that in a relationship, and the thought almost made him laugh,

"_Malfoy? Playful and loving?" _He thought, looking over at the blonde who had a sneer on his face, _"I can't see it.. Not the Malfoy I know."_

Harry ate a forkful of eggs, they were cold at this point but he forced them down anyway. His mind began wandering again as he went for more food, his stomach ravenous for more. A scenario found it's way into his mind as the thought deepened and began to form into a small fantasy. A playful and loving Malfoy? Yeah, he could definitely see it now…

_It'd be morning, he'd be gently caressing the pale and smooth skin as Malfoy slept, something he had had always wanted to do after a night full of love-making. His back would be facing Harry, and he'd kiss him, not bite, over his shoulders in a loving way and then snuggle into his neck. Malfoy would move under him as he awoke and laugh quietly, trying to roll away but he would just pull him closer as Malfoy softly complained, "Mm…Potter knock it off…that tickles I'll have you know…" Harry would just grin in response and then bury his face into the crook of Malfoy's neck, giving it several kisses as he held Malfoy tightly against him, who would be squirming and laughing as he tried to get away, "P-Potter! St-ahah! S-Stop y-you git! Ge-aha! O-off me before I-I hex y...you! Aha!" He'd then move before getting whacked but would get a playful pinch on his cheek instead as Malfoy turned and stared at him, flustered and trying to hide a bright smile by instead having his trademark smirk plastered on his face, "You're…an idiot Potter.." Finally, he'd stroke the well-defined jaw and thumb Malfoy's cheek gently, leaning down as he went to capture those perfect lips for a kiss…_

"Harry!_"_

Harry was pulled away from his thoughts, his fork still hanging from his mouth as he jolted and tried to speak,

"Thwat?"

Hermione and Ron were both watching him confused and he pulled the fork from his mouth, his face turning red with embarrassment, "S-Sorry, I was just thinking…never mind, it doesn't matter. What were you saying?" he said with a small sigh as he stabbed into his eggs and took another bite, a bit annoyed he was interrupted at the best part of his daydream. Hermione repeated what she had said before, in a demanding tone,

"Is it true the girl you've been seeing is only using you for a sexual relationship only?"

Harry almost choked at her question and he quickly drank some pumpkin juice, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. He quickly glared at Ron who shrugged and mouthed, _"I'm sorry but I can't lie to her…" _

"Yes Hermione it's true," Harry sighed loudly again, resting his head in one hand and he nodded, "But-"

"Harry!" Hermione snapped, cutting him off, "You cannot be doing something like that! It's…it's unhealthy and emotionally damaging," The she started to rant, "This explains why you've been so down and shut off lately from everyone, you can see how this is effecting you. She's obviously just-just using you Harry, you should be with someone that actually cares about you, takes care of you and might even come to love you when the time is right…You have to stop seeing her at once Harry, we don't want you to get hurt and to get any worse." Hermione said this all in one breath and she was staring wide-eyed at Harry, waiting for a response while nervously glancing at Ron.

Hermione was the only one that knew about Malfoy, Harry wasn't discrete at times and it didn't take her long to piece everything together, but she went along with Harry's 'secret girlfriend'. Harry didn't tell her much about them, just that they were seeing each other and even though it took some time, she eventually came to accept it, despite almost choking him to death and telling him he was absolutely mad for seeing Malfoy. But now that she had finally heard what was happening, almost casting a spell on Ron to get it out of him, she was furious and immediately trying to protect her close friend.

"I know Hermione I know, it's just…I don't know, everything is so confusing for me at the moment and I keep getting mixed feelings about her. I'm not sure how I even feel towards her but a part of me does want something more and the other part doesn't," Harry explained slowly, "She just refuses to grant me anything beyond that and I think I might actually be alright with her decisions…" He quickly added, "I'd really _really_ rather not talk about it…please. I've alright got a lot on my mind about it already and I just need to set my priorities out and see where things take me. I appreciate your concern for me but I'd rather try to solve this on my own."

Feeling his appetite suddenly disappear, Harry stood from the table, slinging his bag over his shoulder as he did, and muttered out quietly, "I'll see you guys in class."

Harry left, ignoring their objections. The day had barely started and Harry already felt exhausted to the core. He side glanced over to the Slytherin table one last time, hoping to catch one last glimpse of Malfoy. Harry was surprised when the grey eyes were already staring his way and the two looked at one another for a second. Malfoy looked away quickly afterward, and Harry also looked away from him. He gripped the front of his shirt tightly as he exited the Great Hall, he could feel his heart hammering against his chest.

_"Dammit."_

* * *

Harry grabbed his broom roughly before heading out to the Quidditch Pitch, he had a rough day after breakfast and wanted some time to clear his head. Snape was extra cruel on him during class and he had several assignments due soon but instead of taking the time to work on it, Harry pushed everything aside and decided on having some "me time."

He also wanted to get Malfoy out of his head for a while along with the responsibilities he was neglecting. The blonde was on his mind more than ever and he needed a break from it.

"_I know we're just an every other day shag but the women I've shagged before weren't on my mind this much…_" he grumbled in annoyance, _"Then again I'm not attracted to women as much as I'm attracted to men.. That could be why it's different when it comes to him.."_

Harry shivered when he stepped outside, it was chillier then he had thought and he had forgotten to wear his scarf so he pulled his collar up as much as he could and continued walking. Double-checking the time, he saw he had about an hour or so before he had to be back for dinner. "_Should be plenty of time…_" he thought to himself quietly as he walked onto the huge field that was covered with almost a foot of snow and looked rather beautiful. No matter how many times he had walked this path, Harry was still stunned at the beauty Hogwarts had to offer.

Harry walked to the center of the pitch before climbing onto his broom and taking off instantly into the air. He did a few laps around the pitch to get warmed up. The cold was harshly nipping at his exposed face but after a while he could hardly feel it.

He was too busy enjoying the feeling of flying, the wind blowing through his messy hair and sending chills down his spine. Harry loved more than anything to fly, he just felt so relaxed and free. Down below he was overwhelmed with worries, responsibilities and fears, but once in the sky, Harry became unstoppable.

He never had to worry about anything or anyone when he was up in the sky, it was just him and the wonderful feeling of being alive. It was like almost being reborn again and coming back even stronger then ever. Soaring through the air gracefully, Harry dashed in and out of the stands, making the patterned covers whip in the wind.

He did several more laps full of twirls, loops, and he even practiced one of Krum's moves, balancing his lower body with just his arms on his broom. Breathing out slowly as calmness came over him, Harry flew up into the air as far as he could, disappearing into the grey clouds that loomed over the snowy land. He shut his eyes as the wind rushed through him, and allowed his body to go limp before letting go of his broom.

Quickly, he began to fall back down to earth as gravity did it's job but he kept his legs tightly wrapped around the broom to keep it from slipping out of his grip.

This was one of Harry's favorite tricks and one of his most dangerous. The feeling of falling didn't scare him, if anything he embraced it and Harry opened his arms as wide as he could, the broom and his legs doing several spirals as the rest of his body spun around along in the same motion of his legs and broom. Harry's robes flowed beneath him, wavering in the wind, time seeming to slow down and he opened his eyes slightly, sighing out into the cold air.

"_If only I could feel like this all the time…_"

He thought with another sigh and soon the stands came into view, meaning he was nearing the ground. With quick and instant reflexes, Harry grabbed his broom and twisted his body at the speed of light, using all his strength to pull himself upright again. His feet nicked the ground although and he lost his balance. Luckily, he had slowed his broom down enough so Harry casually flopped into the snow, it cushioning him.

Harry laid there, breathing hard as he stared up at the sky. His body felt hot and he enjoyed the coolness of the snow around him. Laughing quietly, Harry shut his eyes, taking in a deep breath as his heartbeat slowed down.

"_I definitely need to come out here more often," _Harry thought, _"I forgot how much fun it was to fly.." _

He continued to lay there, feeling more and more drowsy as the minutes went by. After all, he was still sleep deprived and the sunshine that peeked through the clouds was keeping him warm. Harry knew he shouldn't fall asleep there, but he felt so tired, so maybe just a few minutes of rest would help him get through the busy evening he had ahead of him, that would consist of several books and Hermione's lecture about using time wisely.

He nearly fall asleep when an icy hand suddenly grabbed his shirt, jerking Harry awake. His eyes snapped open, and his body jolted from the contact. Looking up, Harry flushed when he realized the person who had grabbed him was none other then Malfoy.

Malfoy was leaning over him, panting, and staring at him with wide eyes. He was dressed in flying gear and he had a death grip on Harry's shirt. Harry looked down at the hand gripping him and could see it was shaking.

"Um.." Harry didn't even know where to start, "Malfoy?" He asked hesitantly, "What're you-"

Nothing could've prepared Harry for what happened next. Malfoy suddenly pulled him closer and embraced him, squeezing him tightly. Harry froze and, honestly, he didn't know what to do, because for Merlin sake _Malfoy was hugging him._ Harry didn't move at first but when Malfoy showed no sign of letting him go, he slowly wrapped his arms around the blonde, still feeling hesitant. Harry's heart was beating rapidly again and he hoped Malfoy couldn't feel it thudding against his chest since they were pressed so close to one another. Not even after sex would Malfoy come this close to him.

The two continued to hug for what felt like forever. Harry enjoyed the closeness and almost fully relaxed into the arms holding him but Malfoy abruptly pushed him back, Harry quickly moved his hands away even though it pained him to do so. Malfoy was hanging his head, keeping his face hidden with his long bangs.

"Malfoy?" Harry asked quietly, trying to get some response from him, "Are you alright-"

Malfoy didn't let him finish and cut him off, whipping his head up as he glared at him with burning grey eyes,

"Just what the _fuck_ did you think you were doing Potter?!"

* * *

_**I spent like half a day re-doing this chapter and I am so tired despite it being early where I am at. I am also so proud to have added almost another 2k words to this chapter! That is a major accomplishment for me! (pats self on back)**_

_**I rushed a little near the end but screw it, it's done! I like how things are turning out so far and it's made me really excited to see my growth as a writer. I can't help but cringe at certain parts of this story that would've been better. I hope you enjoy this new and improved chapter, I hope to continue re-doing the next ten chapters (screams internally at all the work that needs to be done). **_

_**Anyway, reviews are much appreciated! Let me know what you think of the improvements and if you have any questions regarding the changes.**_


	3. Heart Break

"_**Just what the fuck did you exactly think you were doing Potter?!"**_

Harry simply stared at the angry Malfoy that was crouched in front of him, stunned by his abnormal actions. Malfoy was breathing hard, his nostrils flared in anger and he had a painful grip on Harry's shoulders. When Harry still didn't respond, Malfoy narrowed his eyebrows and pushed him away angrily. He sat back in the snow and crossed his arms over his chest, a sour expression on his face

"You fucking git." He mumbled out, glaring at Harry coldly and he asked in a commanding tone, "What the hell were you doing?"

Harry nearly fell back in the snow from the force but he managed to keep himself upright. He was confused at Malfoy's actions. He had never seen him act in this type of way, towards himself anyway, but it's not like Malfoy in general was an affectionate person. Harry wouldn't consider a hug a large amount of affection but Malfoy seemed to be hanging onto him for dear life so this was a huge deal for him. When Malfoy didn't say anything else and continued to bitterly glare, Harry cocked his head slightly to the side and finally spoke up,

"What do you mean Malfoy?" Harry asked quietly and hesitantly.

"How thick are you?" Malfoy insulted, "I asked you _what the hell you were doing_."

"I was just practicing flying around.." Harry shrugged, answering him honestly, "It's something I enjoy and I do it when I need some time for myself."

Malfoy didn't seem very satisfied with his answer and still looked angry. Harry could tell he was trying to keep his composure but he wasn't doing a very good job at it though since he could read Malfoy so easily now. It was like a book that had remained shut for years was finally opening and spilling out so many different unknown secrets. Harry quickly took it all in and examined his movements, he had always wanted to be able to tell what was on the blonde's mind and now was his chance when his guard was finally down.

Slytherins were typically referred to as introverts and were closed about their emotions and feelings, you could have one despise you for years and never realize it. But when brought to confrontation, they didn't in the slightest hold back. Whereas, Gryffindors on the other hand showed their emotions boldly and with confidence. As much as Harry hated it, he lacked control over his emotions and always expressed how he was feeling through his facial expressions, making him very easy to decipher. Hermione and Ron always told him that his face was able to tell them more than what his words did.

Harry took note that Malfoy's arms crossed over his chest showed he was defensive and alert, which wasn't very surprising since he had put himself in a situation where he was deemed to be questioned. Harry also noticed he moved his hands a lot meaning he was feeling nervous and he seemed to flex them quite a lot too, possibly he was always ready to defend himself in any situation? Harry wasn't sure, he hadn't met someone that had done that before.

Malfoy's shoulders were stiff and upright making Harry inwardly laugh. Malfoy was trying to make himself looked more intimidating by trying to look larger then he actually was but compared at Harry's stature he as easily smaller. His head was also lowered more than considered normal, Harry figured he was feeling embarrassed but when his eyes were steady and focused instead of shifting, Harry realized what he was actually feeling. Malfoy was feeling guilty of something and he was trying desperately to hide it. He was trying to mask his intentions through intimidation.

"Stop staring at me Potter," Malfoy snapped at him, "It's annoying."

Harry ignored him and instead asked boldly, feeling eager to talk,

"Why're you here Malfoy? What's making you so upset at me?"

So many questions were running through Harry's mind and he was trying not to pour them all over Malfoy at once. He was trying to take things slow, he didn't want to frighten Malfoy away because he may never get a chance like this again. He couldn't help but feel excited as well, this could be the turning point he had been waiting for. Things between the him and Malfoy could _finally _turn down the path Harry so desperately wanted them to go down. This could turn into a full on relationship. All he had to do was take the next step and get to know Malfoy better so he could tip the scale in his favor.

Harry waited patiently for Malfoy to answer. He didn't at first, and bit at his lip, which Harry quickly noticed to be hesitance. In fact there was a lot of it emitting from Malfoy. Malfoy looked away but after a few moments of silence and Harry's keeping his patience under control, he responded,

"I thought.." He paused, unsure if he should go on but Harry nodded slightly in hopes encourage him to keep talking. It worked and Malfoy continued, "I thought you had gotten hurt."

"You thought I was hurt?" Harry felt a little flattered, his heart fluttering a bit.

Malfoy suddenly got extremely defensive, his cheeks turning a little pink and shouted, stuttering, "W-Well who wouldn't have thought that!" He threw his arms up in a dramatic way, "You were falling from the-the damn sky and when I ran here-"

"Wait, you...you _ran?_" Harry couldn't help but smile a little at the thought of Malfoy- No, _Draco _running to him. The Malfoy he knew wouldn't run for him, but right now he was experiencing the person that _would, _which was Draco.

Draco threw him another dirty look before finishing what he was saying through clenched teeth, but not before changing his wording first,

"I _briskly walked_ here and saw you laying in the snow. I just thought you had passed out _again,_" he was referring to third year with the dementors, "I thought you were dead or something.." Draco swallowed loudly, blinking rapidly before turning away. Harry saw him clench his hands again, he was getting more and more upset.

Harry panicked for a brief moment, he thought Draco was going to cry at first and he was horrible at comforting others, he could barely comfort his closest friends despite having known them for years. But it was just silence that fell between the two again, Draco stayed turned away, staring at nothingness and seemed to have calmed himself down. Breathing out in relief, Harry thought over everything that had been said so far.

Harry was still having an inner conflict with himself, he wanted to so badly ask him more personal questions to get to know him more because he was enjoying what he had seen so far, even if it was Draco's angry side. Harry wanted to see all of it but he continued to hold back, instead he focused on the what was happening right now.

Leaning forward in eagerness, Harry asked,

"Do you... care about me Malfoy?"

Draco continued to look away from him, not responding whatsoever this time.

"Malfoy?"

Still no response from the blonde so Harry decided to try a different approach. He inched closer to him and whispered out,

_"Draco_?_"_

"...What?" Draco snapped, glancing over at him. Harry couldn't see any surprise on his face that he had said his first name but he had eased up at the use of his name. His shoulders had slumped down and his crossed arms weren't pressed so tightly against his chest anymore.

"Do you care about me?" He asked again.

"So what if I do?" Draco immediately replied in a challenging tone, " Just because I'm Slytherin doesn't mean I don't have emotions too you know." He sounded a little hurt, "We're not heartless like you and the others portray us to be."

Harry felt a pain in his chest at the hurt expression Draco held. Without thinking, he reached out to him and fondly stroked the cold and pale cheek. Draco flinched slightly at the contact but other then that, he was unfazed. Even though Draco didn't say it directly, he still said he cared for Harry, which was all he really needed to hear.

"Hey," Harry said softly, "I don't think you're heartless, I'm sorry if it seemed I thought that way." Harry said this honestly, keeping his hand where it was, a little surprised Draco hadn't moved away. Sure, he thought Draco was an arse at times but he had showed himself so much to Harry within a few minutes compared to the years he had known him. Harry didn't think he had been more attracted to him and moving closer, he turned Draco to face him completely.

Draco still didn't move, he was just staring at him quietly. Harry could tell he was nervous, he was trembling a little and he wanted nothing more then to make his worries go away. Swallowing the lump in his throat, and trying to calm down his beating heart, Harry leaned in closer, pressing their foreheads together. Draco flinched again, looking down immediately.

"We shouldn't Potter." Draco started to move away from him, "Someone might see us-"

Harry quickly him back to where he was, tangling his fingers in his silky hair. It was as soft as he imagined.

"It's dinnertime already, everyone is there and hardly anyone comes to the Quidditch during winter," Harry whispered reassuringly, not wanting to break the closeness and miss his chance to make a move, "And I could honestly care less if someone were to see us.."

Draco whispered out quietly, "We-I can't-.." He sighed, shaking his head. He put a hand against Harry's chest to stop him from getting closer. Draco weakly protested one last time, "You don't understand, if-"

"Shh.." Harry said softly, thumbing over the bottom of his lip, "Whatever happens, we can face it together..I don't know what you're afraid of Malfoy but you're not alone in fighting against it." Harry meant it when he said that, he was done hiding and he was ready to start anew with Draco, to actually have him by his side, always. The last thing he would do was let anyone get in the way of whatever happiness they could have together.

Draco fell into silence afterward, no longer pushing him back. Harry pressed their foreheads together again, their noses brushing against each other slightly. Harry glanced at Draco one last time, who was already staring at him and sensing no more objections, Harry took his chance but not before he confessed something he had been thinking about for a while now,

_"I love you_."

The two locked lips in a heated passion, it was everything Harry had hoped for. Even though they had already kissed once before, it was different than before. It was full of feeling he couldn't express and he didn't know how to explain. Harry realized how soft his lips were and he felt himself getting more and more excited, especially when Draco began to kiss him back, their lips slowly moving in sync.

Harry shivered when he felt Draco's cold hand cup his face, slowly moving to the back of his head as the kiss continued. He tugged the blonde's hair slightly in response, tilting Draco's head back, deepening the kiss more. With his other hand, Harry intertwined it with Draco's free hand. His fingers were numb from the cold but he didn't care, he was too busy kissing the man he had admitted his love for. Draco surprised him though by biting his lip, licking over it teasingly. Harry obliged and parted his lips slightly, the kiss turning French. Harry shivered again as Draco explored his mouth, and he decided he had a new favorite flavor, Draco.

The kissed seemed to go on for a while but it was actually only a minute or so before the two, broke apart, breathing hard as they tried to catch their breath. Harry licked his lips slightly, squeezing Draco's hand. He was waiting for a response from the blonde. It scared him that he had admitted his feelings without knowing how Draco felt about him, but now that they shared this kiss, he didn't care. Harry loved Draco, there was no denying it anymore. Draco looked up at him, his eyes half lidded as his breathing slowed.

_"Harry.."_

Harry felt a sharp pain emit from his skull suddenly, and he quickly clutched at his head, letting out a gasp. Draco seemed to be shouting at him, but he couldn't hear what he was saying, his lips were moving but no noise was coming out, like he had been muted. Harry felt himself becoming extremely dizzy, his vision beginning to become splotchy and a high pitched ringing noise was all he heard. Voices came pouring in all at once, making it hard to understand anything being said. It was the last thing he heard before entirely losing consciousness.

"_You wouldn't understand-"_

_"How could you-"_

_"What do you want from me-"_

_"Please, please don't-"_

Harry gasped loudly, sitting upright immediately but he soon regretted it. The quick action made his head throb and he felt dizzy again. He panicked for a brief moment, not realizing where he was but he quickly remembered when he saw Draco at his side, holding tightly onto one of his hands. He was trembling again.

"What..the fuck," Harry mumbled, more to himself, "was that?.." He rubbed his temple gently, trying to ease the headache that was forming. It's not like he never experienced these type of things before, being linked to Voldemort had it's cons after all, but it wasn't him this time. This time it was something entirely differently. To Harry it felt like a memory of some sort but he couldn't link what he had heard to anything he could remember.

"Are you alright?.." Draco asked softly, Harry could hear his voice shaking. He gave his hand another squeeze, "Why did you suddenly throw a fit?"

Nodding slowly, Harry sighed, looking up at him, "Yes, I'm fine.. I'm sorry, I don't know what that was, I've never experienced something like that before..."

Draco seemed to stiffen and he let go of Harry's hand, sitting back. Harry saw him clenching his hands again and he was avoiding eye contact.

"What exactly did you experience?" Draco asked quietly, still looking away.

"I'm not sure.." Harry said with a shrug, "It was like..a memory or something, and I heard different voices, saying different things but it was hard to understand them..I honestly have no idea what it was about.." Draco didn't respond after that and stayed silent.

"Draco?" Harry said, trying to get him to look at him, "Are you alright?"

He reached out to him but Harry was surprised when Draco pulled away, standing up. Harry looked up at him, feeling confused but slowly stood up as well. He nearly fell down again because his legs were very stiff from having sat down for so long.

"Draco?.." He tried again. He was beginning to feel a little nervous, and not in a good way. Why wasn't he speaking to him? Had he gone to far when he confessed his love for him?

"If this is.." Harry paused, trying not to sound hurt, "about what I said earlier..I'm sorry, I shouldn't've-"

"I think we should stop seeing each other." Draco spoke up suddenly.

Harry felt his world collapse, Draco's words echoing in his head.

"W-what?" His managed to say, "What are..What are you saying?" A nauseating feeling was beginning to overwhelm him. His stomach was twisting and he was beginning to tremble, his heart was pounding again but it was hurting more and more with every beat.

"I'm saying," Draco turned to look at him, at last, "that this is over."

Instead of the Draco, that minutes ago Harry could understand, he was replaced with a stony expression. There was no hint whatsoever of what he was thinking, no light in the dark grey eyes or body movement Harry could read. Even his hands were not longer clenched, they were relaxed as they laid limp at his sides. Draco had become unreadable once again in a matter of seconds, and had shut Harry out with no hesitation.

"You can't," Harry started, his voice shaking, "You can't do this to me.."

"Actually, I can." Draco said coldly, not blinking once, "And I will."

"You CAN'T!" Harry suddenly shouted, breathing hard as his chest heaved up and down. It was hard for him to breath and to keep himself collected, his eyes were beginning to water. Harry bit the inside of his cheek hard to try and control himself, also to keep his anger from flaring up.

"Don't you realize how much I lo-"

"I do, Potter." Draco said, making Harry flinch at the use of his surname, "And I can't say I'm able to return those feelings. I don't want to give you any sense of false hope is all so what better thing to do then to end this?"

"You're lying..." Harry said through gritted teeth, his hands clenched tightly, "You just said you had cared about me and you _kissed me back_. You fucking kissed me _back." _Harry challenged him, "You can't say you didn't feel the same things I did. I don't believe it. _I can't." _Harry felt a lump forming in his throat, and he felt the metallic taste of blood in his mouth, he had bitten his cheek to hard.

"It was the heat of the moment.." Draco said, dismissing the matter quickly, "Just forget that it happened, that all of this," he gestured to Harry and himself, "between us happened."

"I CAN'T," Harry shouted angrily, "You can't just expect me to forget everything. I did EVERYTHING you wanted Draco. And this-this is how it's going to end?! You aren't even going to give me, _us, _a chance?!" Harry said this in a desperate tone.

"No, I'm not." Draco said quickly and added on, "It's not as if this was going to last forever between us."

"Please.." Harry said quietly taking a step towards Draco, who immediately took a step back, "Please don't do this." He tried to stroke his cheek again, "I love you so much.."

Draco moved away before they made contact and he shook his head.

"I'm sorry Potter, but it's over."

That was the last thing he said before he turned away and began walking to the castle, leaving a brokenhearted Harry, alone at the center of the Quidditch Pitch.

Harry stood there for a moment, Draco's footsteps disappearing, before falling to his knees and hands in the snow. He stared blankly at the ground, his hands slowly clenching. Before he knew it, he was sobbing uncontrollably, his body shaking badly. Harry punched at the ground in anger multiple times, trying to feel something other than the gaping hole that was torn in his chest.

He stopped crying after a while, breathing hard and feel exhaustion weighing him down. Slumping over, he rolled onto his back in the snow and he stared at the darkened sky, the sun completely swallowed up by grey clouds. He let the coldness take over him, his eyelids beginning to feel heavier as he gave in the drowsiness that was slowly consuming him. Harry turned and looked at his hand, the one that Draco had been holding onto and he mumbled out, before drifting off,

_"I love you."_

* * *

_**I reaaaaaally liked how this chapter came out. It's so much more improved compared to the original and it makes me want to cry.**_

_**I hope you guys like this new version of this chapter. I cannot wait to get further into this story and see how much more I can develop it.**_

_**Reviews are appreciated ~**_


	4. Ginger and Vanilla

**And Cedric decides to finally enter the scene~! **

**Sorry for a long delay guys. I've been busy and write's block has been hitting my hard lately, inspiration is a bit hard to come by now. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and reviews are much appreciated~**

* * *

"_**I love you…"**_

Harry felt a rush of cold air brush past his uncovered skin, the hairs on the back of his neck rising instantly as goosebumps formed everywhere on his body, and he shivered, trying to hide from the cold air and he curled his body closer, not getting far when he felt something blocking him from moving. He felt arms around him tightened as he shivered, slowly beginning to warm his body that felt frozen in the cold air

He moved closer to the warmth eagerly, burying his nose into a rough and worn down fabric that contained heat, he caught a vague scent, and he sniffed the fabric. A mixture of ginger and vanilla raided his nose and made his senses tingle, he sniffed again, yearning for more of the wonderful fading smell. The sound of crisp snow crunching under heavy feet met his ears as well as the sound of someone huffing quietly and he heard the hammering of their heartbeat, even feeling it a bit as it thudded against his ear. He relaxed at the sound, sighing softly to himself and he thought hazily, "_Such a relaxing sound… I've never heard something like this before…_"

Harry thought of his previous shagging partners, when they would sometimes cuddle after a good shag and he wondered if this was why they would sleep with their heads on his chest, maybe they found his heart relaxing just as he did for whomever was holding him. Speaking of the person holding him, he moved his face away from the warm and wonderful smelling fabric and he shifted his body, wincing when his body felt achy and sore. The person holding him stopped and he could feel eyes on him, making him feel exposed.

Opening his eyes that were stuck together since his eyelashes were covered in a bit of ice, he looked first at the darkened sky and school several yards in front of him. A few lights were scattered here and there in the windows, and snow continued to fall down silently, looking deeper than it was before. He looked up, noticing he stands of the Quidditch Pitch gaping over him like the huge towers they were and he shivered again, never noticing how creepy they looked during the night. The structure made them look hundreds of years older than they already were and the shadows made them look darker and more threatening than they had before.

The arms around him tightened more and he shifted his head, looking up at the person carrying him and ready to ask why they smelled so amazing and how they managed to smell that nice when he stopped. Even though it was difficult to see since it was dark, he quickly recognized the boy, even though half his face was hidden in the shadows. "_Cedric Diggory..." _he mumbled quietly, his breath coming out as icy air. The older Hufflepuff was looking down at him curiously, his eyes shining brightly in the dark and a few droplets of water dripped from his messy bangs, hitting his hot cheeks. He smiled his charming smile that formed over his lips as continued to stare down at Harry, "Well, that takes a huge worry off my shoulders. I thought you had been badly injured yknow, seeing you passed out in the snow and all…I thought you had hit your head or something while flying, I nearly had a heart attack when I first saw you. I thought you had been killed." Cedric shook his head, more droplets of water raining down on Harry, and he shifted the Gryffindor in his arms before continuing to walk towards the school, his posture seeming to relax a little.

He didn't walk far before he looked down at him again, "I brought your broom too, encase you're wondering. I almost didn't see it since it was half buried in the snow…" Harry smiled weakly at his kindness, and Cedric looked away from him, shifting him around in his arms again. Harry suddenly felt uncomfortable being carried by a boy, he never let anyone touch him like his, not anyone that he had shagged anyway and he blushed slightly in embarrassment. Quickly, he triedto push himself out of the older boy's arms, he mumbled out quickly as he squirmed around, "T-Thanks Cedric, I appreciate your help but I think I can walk on my own now…Besides I'm sure it's difficult walking in deep snow like this while carrying another person." The Hufflepuff looked at him for a moment, looking a bit conflicted before turning away, Harry thought he saw a bit of sadness in his eyes but he didn't think much of it, he needed to get out of his arms. _Now_.

Cedric nodded noticeably, not responding as he let Harry down onto his feet, and he kept an arm around Harry's back, who quickly brushed off the snow that clung to his clothes and hair. Harry positioned his scarf so it gave him some protection from the wind that had picked up and he looked at Cedric confused when he continued to keep his arm around him. Cedric quickly pulled it away, scratching the back of his head as he smiled nervously, "Sorry, just wanted to make sure you weren't going to fall or anything…" He handed Harry his broom that was tucked under his arm and he pushed his hands into his pockets, shuffling his feet around in the deep snow. Harry took his broom from him and gave him another strange look, wondering why he was acting weird but disregarded it, thinking it was probably just a Hufflepuff thing, and he began to walk, frowning slightly when he found it difficult to walk in the deep snow. He silently wished that he had pretended to still be unconscious so he wouldn't have to be carried but decided to keep quiet and just deal with it.

Cedric followed him after a few moments and caught up with him quickly, his legs longer then Harry's and made walking in the deep snow easy for him. They soon walked side by side in silence, the only sound was the crunching of the snow beneath their feet and the sound of the wind whipping past them, when Cedric suddenly decided to speak up again, gazing over at him. "You had your friends worried…They had a lot of people looking for you when you didn't show up for dinner, even some of the teachers... Thought that maybe something happened to you or you got kidnapped by you-know-who's followers, I don't think I've ever seen Hermione look so flustered before…" Harry sighed at his words, hoping he wouldn't have to deal with Hermione scoldings tonight but he knew he would just have to deal with her motherly side one way or another. He shrugged absentmindedly, shaking his hair as more snow landed on it and stuck to it before he pushed it back and out of his face, "Yeah, I didn't think I would be gone very long…I just wanted to fly around some, it helps me clear my head and relax…Guess I just lost track of the time or something…"

Harry saw Cedric nod in agreement, "Yeah I can understand that, that's why I came here to help look for you, I had a feeling you might be here…" Harry met Cedric's eyes for a moment, they glistened slightly and he wondered what he meant by that but he didn't feel like asking him, turning away from the taller boy, the conversation dying out for a few minutes before Cedric spoke up once more. He seemed to really be trying to keep the conversation going and Harry silently wondered why. He and Cedric never talked much, not after the Triwizard Tournament that he was forced to compete in his previous year. They had shared the winning title after the different competitions and spent a few interviews together with different kinds of reporters who asked about their experience in seeing Voldermort's return but they hadn't talked much since then, barely even glancing at one another when they sometimes met in the hall. Why did he seem so eager to speak to him now?

"Why were you laying in the snow anyway?..." he asked quietly, looking at him curiously before looking away again. Harry felt his legs beginning to stiffen and his body tensed at his question, the memories from earlier came flooding into his mind and his emotions soon began swirling around in his chest. He eventually came to a stop while Cedric continued to walk ahead, clearly not noticing he had stopped walking. He could hear him mumbling under his breath as if he was still by his side,

"I ran into Draco on my way here too by the way, he seemed really furious…I think he might've even been crying… and he almost hexed me when I asked him if he was alright and if he had seen you anywhere, nasty temper he has that Slytherin… He didn't happen to harm-…Harry?"

Harry looked down at the snowy ground, not moving from where he stopped and his grip began tightening on his broom. He hung his head as Malfoy's words came back to him, running over and over his mind. His heart cracked every time he replayed the words,

"_**I don't think we should see each other anymore…"**_

"Harry, are you ok?" snow crunched as feet came closer to him.

"_**I don't think we should see each other anymore…"**_

"Hey, Harry, look at me. What's wrong? Did Draco hurt you in some kind of way? What did he do to you?" A pair of hands gripped his shoulders, shaking him slightly.

"_**I don't think we should see each other anymore…"**_

His voice croaked out a few words before he could stop it,

"Make me fall in love with him…"

He bit his lip hard, a lump building in his throat that prevented him from speaking anymore and he felt tears begin to form in his eyes, the cold becoming even colder as all the emotions began to overwhelm him and he felt himself nearing his breaking point. He screwed his eyes shut, trying to control himself and his body trembled slightly as he tried to keep himself from crying. It was no use though and before he knew it, he was full on bawling his eyes out, every emotion he had tucked away from the beginning of the year pouring out. His body jolted and shook with every cry, and he blurted out more words as he sobbed,

"I-I t-tol-told hi…him l-loved him…A-and h-he…" He fell to his knees in the snow and wailed loudly, "H-He di-didn't lo-love me ba-back!"

More hot tears rolled down his cheeks and he wiped them away with his sleeve, the cold air beginning to make his face sting and he said in a voice that pleaded for answers, "W-why didn't h-he?...I…d-did e-everything…I-I though he m-might…" He let out another choked sob and he felt exhausted, wanting to just sleep his problems away but he felt himself being lifted up by a pair of strong arms. He looked confused when he realized Cedric was hugging him tightly, his arms wrapped around his waist as he held him comfortingly and squeezed him tightly. Harry bit his lip, his eyes swelling up with tears again and wrapped his arms around the taller boy, clinging to him tightly. He thought of Malfoy, turning away from him, and he felt another wave of emotions drown him again, and he cried harder, burying his face into the Huffepuff's shoulder, hoping to muffle his cries.

He continued to cry until his body couldn't produce anymore tears, he then hiccupped quietly and he felt the warm arms move to his shoulders, pushing him back gently. Wiping his tears and snot onto his sleeve, he hiccupped a few more times, his body shaking in the cold and his teeth began to chatter, his broom feeling suddenly heavier than before. Harry kept his gaze focused on the ground and barely noticed when another thick robe was thrown over him and he was suddenly lifted from the ground and secured into a warm embrace. He moved closer to Cedric, his body utterly exhausted from his emotional breakdown and he shut his eyes for a moment, Cedric's voice meeting his ears,

"…I won't tell anyone about what happened here tonight Harry...and…I'm truly sorry for what you went through…"

Harry couldn't help but sigh in relief, knowing he could trust Cedric with his secret and he shut his eyes, feeling the warmth of the body holding him soon mix in with the warmth of the castle. Cedric didn't put him down though and he kept walking down the hallway, heading towards what Harry assumed would be the Gryffindor common room. There was a long silence between them and Harry felt drowsiness seep over him, his eyelids beginning to feel heavy and he struggled to keep them open. He caught a glimpse of what looked like Hermione and Ron in the distance as they ran towards him, shouting words he didn't quite understand. Before he let sleep take over him, he heard a voice whisper that he _did _understand say softly to him,

"_I'm sorry I wasn't there…_"


	5. Hating Him

_**I'm sorry I wasn't there…**_

"_Why're you..."_

"_It's none of your business!"_

"_I am too..."_

"_When did you..."_

"_Please, give me more!"_

"_Harry..."_

Harry woke with a start, his eyes snapping open as his body jerked and he sat up quickly. The voices in his mind faded away to distant echoes before a heavy pounding, almost like a hammer, began crushing against the inside of his skull. He was breathing heavy and covered in a thin layer of sweat, his shirt clinging to him as his heart pounded against his chest wildly. Gulping down a mouthful of air, he glanced around the fuzzy but familiar looking room. He breathed out a sigh of relief when he recognized the red and golden colors covering the room, the familiar patterns bringing him reassurance as he continued to glance around his dorm room. He saw his roommate's familiar sleeping figures bundled up in covers and pillows and he heard the faint sound of snoring coming from where Ron was sleeping.

Without thinking, he tossed the covers he had over him and shakily reached for this bed stand, grabbing his glasses as he shoved them onto his face and instantly made his vision clearer. Light was shining dully from the patterned window, meaning it was already the next morning and it was extremely early as well. He could see the dusk of dawn beginning to awaken and spread throughout the snow covered land. Harry pushed back his sweaty bangs as his breathing began to relax and his heart started returning to normal, although his head continued to be hit over and over by the hammer relentlessly. Rubbing the tiredness from his eyes, he peeled off his sweaty shirt and tossed it to the floor, rolling over to the opposite side of the bed, sighing at the coldness of the sheets and pillows. He buried himself into the coldness in hopes the pounding in his head would stop.

Silently, he began to wonder about how he had gotten to his room in the first place when he felt his body freeze almost instantly, the thoughts from last night rushing back to him in the flash. Him flying gracefully through the air, Malfoy confronting him and telling him off, voices whispering to him, him blurting out his confession to Malfoy on accident, and finally, Malfoy turning away from him and stating coldly,

_"I don't think we should see each other anymore…"_

He felt pain appear suddenly and it slowly cut deeper into his chest as it began to swallow him, and he suddenly felt it difficult to breathe as he clutched the bed sheets tightly in his hand. Gritting his teeth, he felt hot tears begin to form into his eyes and he let them fall, and he forced himself to hold in the screams that were building up in his throat. Harry gripped the sheets tighter, burying his face into the pillow and he soon began to feel emotions he hadn't felt in a long time begin to resurface as they tried to numb him from feeling pain. Hurt, confusion, depression, rejection..._anger. _ Harry let out a shaky breath as he let himself push away the hurt and pain, his mind focusing itself on the anger that began to build up with in him.

"_I gave...everything to him. I let myself be toyed with and used for him... I did anything I could to make him happy...and for what, to get nothing in return... He's never cared for me, he doesn't give a shit about me. All he cares about is getting a good shag from someone, anyone that he would think would boost his fucking ego and make him seem like a sex god... He'll never love me, not like I loved him._" Harry wanted to slam his head against the headboard of his bed or maybe the stone wall at the thought but instead dug his nails into the palm of his hands as he clenched them tightly into fists, "_Merlin, I'm such a fucking idiot for being in love with him... Why him of all people, why couldn't I have fallen in love with someone else, why couldn't I have worked it out with Ginny, why couldn't I have been straight... Why was I born this way?_"

He held his breath, staring blankly at the wrinkled sheets and his body began to relax slightly as the anger left him and hurt took its place. Harry remembered when he first came out to Sirius and Hermione, remembering how they both accepted him for who he was but told him how it would sometimes get hard along the way, especially when people would begin to find out about his secret. They failed to tell him though that getting his heartbroken by a man he loved would be far worse than any rumor or insult. Feeling his eyes getting watery again at the thought of his dead godfather and Malfoy, Harry closed them as he bit his lip to keep from sobbing and he mumbled quietly under his breath,

_"Why was I born gay?"_

* * *

"Harry, how're you feeling?"

Harry stared emotionlessly at the plate of food before him, the chatter of gossip and laughter ringing off the walls of the Great hall, the smell of different types of delicious foods mixing in with each other into one wonderful aroma. It was a smell Harry used to love but as of right now, it all made Harry want to throw up, curl up into his bed and never have to get up again for the rest of his miserable life. But he knew something like that couldn't happen, so instead he looked up at his friend Hermione sullenly, who was waiting patiently for him to respond as Ron scarfed down strips of bacon, and Harry forced a weak smile,

"I feel alright, just rather tired from yesterday..."

"_It hurts..._"

"I'm sorry again for, you know, worrying you guys."

"_It hurts so badly..._"

"I just needed to get some fresh air and clear my mind. I didn't think I'd doze off for so long when I took a break."

"_Make it stop..._"

Hermione looked him up and down slowly with an unbelieving look, turning to Ron who glanced back at her before he shrugged and took a swing of pumpkin juice. Shaking her head slightly at her boyfriend's ignorance, Hermione turned back to him and mouthed quietly, "_Does it have to do with Malfoy?_" Harry looked away, feeling his stomach begin to churn and do backflips. He knew he could lie to her but it was Hermione, she could read him easily and his reaction to her question already confirmed her suspicions. Fiddling with his fork for a moment, he looked up at Hermione and nodded slightly, gripping the fork tightly in his hand. Hermione looked at him with sympathetic eyes and she mouthed to him again, making sure no one was looking,

"_We'll talk later._"

Harry nodded, not wanting to try and get out of a talk with Hermione, and he quietly turned away from his friends, prodding at the scrambled eggs on his plate. His stomach was continuing to do flip flops but he forced himself to take a few bites of food. Despite his misery, he was thankful that it was Saturday and he didn't have to worry about going to classes or having to deal with _him. _Sighing under his breath, Harry took another bite of the cold food and allowed himself to be lost in his thoughts when he remembered about the dream he had. He furrowed his brows slightly as he thought of the bits of a conversation that had randomly appeared, just like they did yesterday when he had seen Mal-.._him_ looking angrier than he had seen him before.

"_Maybe not..._" Harry thought as he paused eating for a moment, "_Maybe he has something to do with this... Whatever these conversations are, it didn't look like he wanted me to remember them... It could've been something he might be embarrassed about..._" He couldn't think of anything embarrassing enough though that would make _him _want to erase Harry's entire remembrance of it, and he couldn't think of any leads that had happened before in his past that got him involved with that situation. He didn't know anything that could help him figure this out, he didn't even know if it was something real or not but the look on _his _face when he had the first flashback,made Harry silently began to wonder what it meant. Taking another bite of his food without thinking, he thought of the other bits of a conversation that had occurred to him yesterday before his incident and wondered if maybe they connected in some kind of way but no matter how hard he tried to piece them together into fitting sentences, they still didn't make sense but they were definitely from the same memory.

Frustrated that he couldn't come up with anything, he set down his fork roughly to the side and took a sip of his juice bitterly. Ron and Hermione were acting all couple-ish and Harry rolled his eyes, looking elsewhere as his heart twinged slightly in jealously of his friend's happiness with one another. He glanced over the tables when he caught sight of white-blonde hair and he almost spilt his drink all over himself. He felt his depression begin to linger over him as he stared at a happy looking Malfoy, laughing with his friends without a care in the world. He looked so unaffected by yesterday, his eyes shining brightly as he laughed and smirked while Harry felt as if he gotten stabbed in the heart. He continued to stare and soon Harry felt his stomach beginning to churn again and he wished he hadn't decided to eat breakfast, feeling the food beginning to come up again and he felt himself sway slightly. Hermione's voice suddenly rang up and he winced, her voice seeming louder than it was,

"Harry are you alright? You don't look very well..." Ron's voice quickly followed afterward as the young couple sat up in alarm, Harry felt the blood begin to drain from his face as he paled, "You look like you're going to hurl mate, should we take him to the Hospit-" Harry shook his head, looking at them and he took a deep breath, and spoke in a pained voice, trying to recollect himself, "No no, I'm alright...I just-" He glanced up at the Slytherin table again and froze when he saw silver eyes staring his way. Malfoy was watching him intently almost looking concerned and worried, if Harry didn't feel like he was going to throw up he would've laughed at the thought of Malfoy being concerned for him. "_He doesn't give a shit about me..._" Harry thought, and he felt his breath get caught in his throat as he turned away from the Slytherin Prince, his stomach twisting violently into a knot, and his chest tightened in pain. He looked at his friends who were watching him worriedly and muttered out quietly, turning his gaze to the floor,

"I-I'm sorry but...I need to go." He held up a hand and shook his head when Hermione and Ron stood up to follow after him, "Please...let me to have some time for myself...I...I need to think."

Harry stood up abruptly, almost knocking over his goblet of pumpkin juice as he hurried out of the Great Hall, feeling hundreds of eyes staring at him. Banging open the doors, he kept his eyes turned to the floor and he allowed them to lead him wherever it was he was going and he cursed to himself silently, feeling weak and foolish, "_I fucking hate this... I hate this, I hate hurting so much, I hate him so much...Why do I continue to love him so much?_" He grumbled unrecognizable words under his breath as he continued his fast pace but to his surprise, he felt a strong hand grip his shoulder tightly, stopping him and pulling him back. He looked up at the taller figure and saw Cedric was hovering above him and caught the familiar scent of ginger and vanilla reach his nostrils. He inhaled took another whiff of the smell, finding it intoxicating and he was in a haze but the hand, still on Harry's shoulder, squeezed him gently. Blinking out of his haze, he was surprised when he saw Cedric looking at him, his eyes full of concern and worry,

"Harry... Are you alright? What's with the hurry? You look as if you saw someone die or something..."

Harry looked away from the Hufflepuff and he kept his eyes focused on the ground before him, his tightened throat keeping him from speaking, not that he wanted to talk in the first place but he knew Cedric wouldn't let him leave without an explanation so he forced himself to whisper out, "Malfoy..." There was a silence for a moment and Harry felt the strong hand leave his shoulder, and he was ready to dark away again but couldn't when the hand was replaced by a comforting arm, wrapping itself loosely around his shoulders, pulling him away. He didn't object when he felt himself being led somewhere else and he heard Cedric say quietly to him,

"Harry...Let's go talk somewhere privately shall we?"


	6. Scarf for a Smile

"_**Harry...Let's go talk somewhere privately ok?"**_

Harry dully followed after Cedric, who still had an arm draping over his shoulders and had continued to lead him away from the school, as he trudged in the deep snow that was making it difficult for him to walk in. He shivered when an icy cold breeze went through him and goose bumps immediately formed, causing him to tremble in the cold air. He regretted not wearing his scarf today but then again he didn't know he'd be dragged outside in the middle of winter and he grumbled quietly in grouchiness, kicking up a bit of snow. Continuing to grumble about the cold weather, he felt a warm fabric touched his neck, causing him to flinch and he was forced to stop walking. He looked up at Cedric, who had taken off his own scarf and was tying it around Harry, folding it into his shirt to keep the wind from getting in.

Cedric looked at him when he noticed he was staring and smiled, his breath came out as icy air as he continued to fidget with the scarf, "Sorry, I don't want you getting sick or anything. Your friends wouldn't trust me to watch over you again if I brought you back with a cold, even if you didn't catch one from when I brought you to your dorm room last night..." Harry felt his face turn red in embarrassment when he remembered Cedric having to carry him around like some kind of damsel in distress the former night and he looked away, staying quiet for a few minutes as Cedric continued to fold the scarf, and he mumbled out, "Why're you helping me Cedric?..." He looked at the brunette, " I mean... We haven't talked much since the Triwizard tournament besides a few interviews we had together... " Cedric looked at him for a few seconds before he stood up straight and he tilted his head slightly to the side, raising an eyebrow, "Just because we haven't talked since then doesn't make us not friends does it? I still consider you to be my friend Harry, even if we never really got close to each other. I still care about you, since we helped each other survive in the tournament." Cedric turned away slightly but continued to look at him, "I could've died in that maze Harry but thanks to you, I'm still here, breathing and living. I owe you everything for that."

Cedric paused for a moment before, looking up at the towering Quidditch Pitch stands before turning to Harry, who was in utter shock and had his mouth gaping open slightly, and he laughed before saying, "And as for helping you, it's just how I am yknow. I like helping people, but I know you need a little more than just a pat on the back, you need someone to talk to and I'm more than happy to be the one to help you. Besides, I know in some kind of way how you feel about him..." Cedric smiled sadly, looking away as the silence lingered between them for a moment. Harry looked at him confused, finally recovering from the shock from Cedric's kind words and he began wondering how he knew what he could be going through when Cedric looked up at him again as he pointed towards one of the Quidditch stands," Come on, let's go up into the stands stairways. No one will hear us talking here and it's actually pretty warm in there as well. I used to skip Snape's class in my first year and hide out here."

Cedric started off towards it leaving Harry to watch after him as he continued to stay where he was. He looked at Cedric's retreating back, and he looked at the scarf wrapped around his neck, running a hand over the worn-out but soft fabric. He inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of ginger and vanilla and he looked up at Cedric again, who had stopped walking and was already several meters away. He gestured Harry to hurry up, before turning around and heading off again. Harry caught a glimpse of his smile, and he felt himself smiling slightly, even if it felt like it was forced, and he quickly walked through the deep snow, trying to catch up the Cedric who was nearly there. A brief thought went through his mind as he walked,

"_He has a very contagious smile._"

* * *

"That's...that's quite a situation you've gotten yourself into Harry." Cedric commented quietly as Harry buried his face into his arms, bringing his knees up to his chest as he sighed out, "Y-Yeah.." Harry felt a shaky kind of relief go over him, and he felt a heavy burden come off of his chest, although his heart continued to feel suppressed and weighed down in depression. He had just told Cedric everything, everything that had happened since the beginning of the year and even though he thought talking about it would make him feel like shit, he instead felt better than before. Harry lifted his head from his arms, rubbing his eyes to make sure no tears had formed and he leaned back against the wooden planks of the Quidditch stand he and Cedric had taken shelter under.

He watched the thick cloth covering the stand whizz back at forth, blocking the cold air from getting in and he looked over at Cedric, who was thumbing his fingers together and looked lost in thought. He sighed loudly, "I'm sorry...I know it's a lot to think about, it really is.. I hate myself for letting him use me in that kind of way... But then again I don't... I-... I just don't know what to think anymore honestly. I'm so lost.." Harry breathed out, his throat beginning to tighten up and he felt himself become emotionally exhausted, wanting nothing more than to go curl up in his bed and sleep. He glanced over at Cedric, who was already staring at him and Cedric spoke softly,

"Harry, you've never experienced something like this before and there's nothing wrong with feeling lost or not knowing what to do." He grabbed Harry's hands, squeezing them tightly, and he looked at him straight into his eyes, Harry felt his heart skip, "I know it hurts when someone you love doesn't love you back, especially when you thought that they might've and when you've given your all to them. But someone like Malfoy doesn't deserve your love Harry, he should've seen the good he had and appreciated it but he didn't, that's his own fault for losing you." Cedric smiled warmly, "You're very strong Harry, don't consider it to be the end of the world because of one heartbreak, there are plenty of other young men out there that would be lucky to have someone like you. You just need to find that person instead of sulking over someone that shouldn't be worth your sadness or heartache. Things will get better for you, I promise that. It'll just take some time for you to get past this, and getting past this is something I know you can do."

Harry sat back, staring at Cedric as he took in all the words he had just said. He was too stunned to speak and even when he opened his mouth to say something, nothing came out but a small squeak. Cedric laughed at his reaction and let go of his hands, "I can really leave you at a loss for words can't I?" He smiled and Harry chuckled softly, rubbing the back of his head, "Y-Yeah I guess you can... Thanks Cedric, I appreciate your help and everything... Also, thanks for not saying anything to anyone about what I said last night.. Most people would use it as blackmail and try to get me to do their biddings." He rolled his eyes at the thought of students making him sign autographs for their parents or something as Cedric responded as he leaned back against the wooden structure with Harry, "It's not my secret to tell, when you feel ready to go public about your sexual orientation, if you choose to, it should be you saying it. Not someone else."

Harry nodded slightly, "Yeah...by the way, earlier you said that you kind of knew what I was going through... How do you?" he asked curiously, wondering if maybe something Cedric and Cho had a situation like this before. He heard they had broken up when Cho kept letting her jealously get the best of her and kept restraining Cedric from seeing his friends until Cedric finally had enough and decided it was time to move on, breaking up with her over the summer. Cedric was quiet for a moment and Harry thought that maybe he had taken a step to far asking him that, he was about to apologize when Cedric finally spoke up, "Well...I know you can trust me with your secret so I know I can trust you with mine..."

He fidgeted with his fingers , biting his lip and he looked up at Harry, "Last year, after the Triwizard tournament, I don't know why but...I began developing feelings for someone, really strong feelings...And it wasn't Cho, it was..." He looked away, swallowing hard, "..It was someone I hadn't expected to ever develop feelings for and even more so... It was a wizard." Harry felt his eyes widen in surprise and he opened his mouth to say something but was cut off as Cedric continued, "I became really confused and lost about what was right and wrong, what would be accepted and not accepted, what I wanted and what I should want... I denied myself that I was interested in men but I eventually came to accept it and realized I was bisexual. That's why Cho was always so restricting when we were still together, she knew I was interested in someone else and kept trying to keep me from seeing whomever she thought I might be attracted to besides her."

Cedric sighed at the thought of his ex-girlfriend, and he looked at Harry, "And the wizard I was attracted to never came to know about my feelings. I was going to confess to him a few weeks ago but..." He smiled sadly, looking down, "...He's already in love with somebody else..." Harry felt empathy wash over him as he looked at a heartbroken Cedric and he reached out to him, rubbing his back and giving his shoulder a squeeze. Cedric rubbed his eyes with his sleeve, and he looked at Harry, forcing a weak smile, "Thanks Harry... So, I know how you feel.. and it really sucks but I know you can get through it. Even if it'll take some time because I'm still trying to get over him but don't give up just yet alright?" Harry nodded, feeling better that he had someone to compare his problems with, even if they weren't completely similar, they still involved the same issue.

They were both in love with someone who would never love them back.

* * *

"So you think you'll be ok now Harry?" Cedric asked as they walked down the long hallway together, Harry by his side. Harry and Cedric spent most of the morning at the Quidditch Pitch, telling stories to one another and explaining their different experiences of when they first decided to come out to their close friends and family. Cedric was turned away from his father at first but he eventually came around and told him he loved him no matter what but he still hoped to have some grandchildren before he passed on. As for his friends, they mostly consisted of Hufflepuffs who accepted him in a heartbeat and even threw a 'coming out party.' Harry laughed at the thought of that, he could already imagine rainbows covering the walls, paper fairies and unicorns floating about everywhere, he laughed even more when Cedric told him all that was true and it had to be the most embarrassing but comforting party he had ever been to. Harry told him about his coming out to Sirius and Hermione, that they both accepted him but had warned him about the difficulties of being gay and he explained to Cedric he hadn't told Ron yet because he was a bit of a homophobic. Cedric rolled his eyes at that.

Now, it was nearly lunch time so the two decided it'd be ok to walk together, after all they were friends now weren't they? Harry sighed loudly, hoping he wouldn't see Malfoy there during lunch and also hoping he would , "Yeah, I think I'll be alright for now... It's like you said, just need some time I guess, I think I'll just skip lunch today actually..." Cedric nodded in agreement as they neared the Great Hall and he turned to Harry, "Well, I thought today was a nice chat. I hope things go ok for you Harry and also... Talk to your friends soon. Don't lose your connection with them. Especially Ron..." Harry shrugged and smiled back a bit, "Yeah, I'll try to.. Thanks again Cedric. Good luck to you too...getting over that wizard."

Cedric didn't respond, he simply smiled before he started walking into the Great Hall when Harry realized something and stopped him, "Wait, Cedric!" he unwrapped the Hufflepuff scarf still around his neck and he held it out to him, "Your scarf...Sorry, I forgot I was wearing it." Cedric smiled and pushed his hand politely away, "Keep it, since you seem to always forget yours." He winked at Harry and disappeared into the Great Hall. Harry watched him leave, feeling a small floating feeling in his chest and he gripped the scarf tightly, looking down at it before smiling. He wrapped it loosely around his neck before he turned away from the Great Hall and made his way to the Gryffindor common room, hoping to meet up with Hermione and Ron later today. He felt a gnaw in his stomach at the thought of telling them everything but Cedric was right, he shouldn't be closed up from them, especially when he needed help and they were like family to him. "_Merlin, this is going to be a rough day..._" Harry thought with a sigh as he came closer to the dormitories and he made the final turn when he came to a halt, feeling himself freeze completely. Near the entrance he saw Ron, Hermione and

"Malfoy..." He mumbled quietly.

The blonde and Ron were standing toe to toe, Hermione trying to get in-between them. They were both flushed red with anger, fists closed tightly, and jaws clenched. Harry could almost see the sparks between their heated glares. Malfoy jerked his head when he heard his name, and immediately his gaze softened but continued to hold its sharpness. He looked at Harry and Harry could've sworn he saw his face twitch slightly when he saw the scarf around his neck. Moving away from Ron, he walked quickly up to Harry while throwing another glare at the redhead before turning around to face him. Harry felt himself back up a few steps, not feeling ready to face the Slytherin much less talk to him. Malfoy looked back at his friends again and suddenly looked nervous, darting his eyes as he avoided Harry's and he spoke quietly,

"I need to talk to you Potter...In private."


	7. Reconnection

_**"I need to talk to you Potter...In private."**_

Harry stiffened at his words. "_Talk to me? In private? Why? What does he want?_" Harry thought nervously as his heart thudded loudly against his chest, his legs getting shaky as he stared at the blonde, trying to think of what to say. While he stared blankly at the blonde, he noticed that Malfoy's eyes were red around the edges, his hair was ruffled up in an un-Malfoy kind of way, and he looked paler than he normally did, making Harry feel concerned for his well-being. "_He...looks like shit..._" he commented silently to himself in his mind, leaving him curious to know what had made the blonde so upset. Was it because of their weird break up? Harry felt himself inwardly sigh and he lowered his gaze slightly, "_No, Malfoy would never cry over someone like me... I hope he doesn't notice that I look like shit too, one less thing for him to insult me with..._" Licking his lips slightly, he opened his mouth to say something but Ron suddenly made his way for the two, ignoring Hermione's protests as she hung back near the door. He pushed Malfoy roughly back, standing in front of Harry in a defensive way and Harry stared at him confused.

Malfoy staggered back a few steps, glaring daggers at the redhead who returned the glare and Ron growled deeply, "I told you to fuck off Malfoy. Go slither back into your dungeon where you belong with the rest of the snakes. Leave Harry alone. You've done enough to harm him." Panic shot up Harry's back and he immediately looked at Hermione, who hung her head in a shameful way, and Harry quickly pieced two and two together. Ron knew. He knew about him and Malfoy, he knew he was gay but...yet he was defending him? Even though it was Malfoy he had been secretly shagging this entire time? Harry looked at his best friend, who was looking back at him. Ron offered him a small smile that let Harry know he accepted him for who he was, but the anger in his eyes told him that he wasn't happy that it was Malfoy he had been with over the past few months and that Harry had been lying to him the entire time about it.

Straightening himself up and smoothing out his wrinkled shirt from where Ron had caused creases in it, Malfoy responded coldly, "I came here to talk to _him _Weasley, not to you. Why don't you go swallow tongue with you Mudblood girlfriend?" Malfoy looked at Harry briefly, and _tch-_ed quietly, "Whatever, you're not worth my breath weasel-boy. I'll talk to him eventually when you two aren't around to fuck things up and I'll make sure of it. What a Malfoy wants, a Malfoy gets." He turned away from the trio without another word, grumbling under his breath quietly. Harry watched him leave and he let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding, but he still felt fearful. Malfoy wanted to talk to him and he wouldn't stop until he did, Malfoy's wicked words pounded into his mind, repeating themselves over and over again. "_What a Malfoy wants, a Malfoy gets._" He knew that was a promise and he meant to keep it. Harry shuddered and looked at Ron, who's freckles were now blending in with the redness of his face and Hermione was desperately trying to pull Ron back but he stood his ground and snapped back at the retreating Malfoy, who was almost gone,

"At least I'm not a fucking faggot like you Malfoy."

Harry flinched at his words, "_Faggot..._" he thought numbly, and he caught Hermione's gaze, who looked as stunned as he did at Ron's choice of language with Harry being right there. Harry felt shame and embarrassment and he gripped his arm tightly, looking away from Ron. "_Anything but that word..._" Harry thought with a sigh and he noticed that Malfoy had abruptly stopped walking, standing still for a moment. He jumped when Malfoy whirled around suddenly and came storming back up to Ron, his face redder then before and Harry cringed, the fragments of conversation stirring up again, racking themselves against his brain as the memory buried deep within tried once more to resurface to no avail. The familiar conversation only buzzed for a few moments before the words buried themselves in the darkness again and leaving Harry with a horrible headache as he watched Malfoy striding, no, practically _flying_, across the stone floor back to the Gryffindor dormitories.

Malfoy was nearing Ron, only about a foot from him when he hissed out venomously, "What did you just fucking call me you little weasel?" Ron pulled himself from Hermione's desperate grip and he took a brave step forward, his fists clenched tightly as his tensed up as he readied himself for a brawl, "I said I called you a fa-"

_CRACK._

Harry felt his eyes widen in shock as Malfoy's swung his hardened fist, it connecting with Ron's nose, making the ginger's head whip back as he toppled over onto the floor and fell straight on his arse. Hermione let out a small cry and she ran over to her boyfriend, helping him sit up as he cradled his broken nose, blood seeping from between his fingers and dripping onto the floor. Malfoy hovered over him, breathing hard as his eyes flared with anger and he said in a harsh whisper, "Don't _ever _call me that fucking _horrid _name again." He observed his hand and looked over at Harry, his gaze softening before he looked harshly at Ron again, "Especially when your best friend with similar preferences is standing less than two feet from you." Harry felt his heart skip at this, a blush forming over his cheeks that Malfoy noticed his discomfort at the use of Ron's language. Malfoy smoothed his hair back with his unbloodied the hand, the other reddening as if quickly began to swell and Harry noticed a few of his knuckles were out of place. He turned away again, taking his leave as he left Ron in a seething rage who glared at his back with narrowed eyes.

Malfoy only took a few steps before he stopped and turned his head slightly to look back at the trio, "The proper term you can use weasel boy is either _gay _or _homosexual_. Make sure you fucking learn to use it next time I'm around otherwise you'll regret it. _Deeply._" Malfoy's expression darkened as he emphasized the word in a dark tone, and Harry watched his retreating back, feeling his body shaking slightly from shock of the event that just happened.

Looking over at Ron, who was glancing back at him while Hermione fixed his nose with a flick of her wand, Harry sighed loudly and looked at the now empty hallway. He felt the happy feeling that had finally surfaced to the light be drowned again in dread as he thought of Malfoy attempting to go after him, his words continuing to echo loudly in his mind.

"_What a Malfoy wants, a Malfoy gets._"

* * *

"Thwat I donth understanth ith how you coulth shag Malfoth! Ith bloodth Malfoth! MALFOTH! Merlith, Harrth Pottherth, my beth frienth, shagginth fuckith Malfoth! Anth noth eveth tellinth meh!" ("What I don't understand is how you could shag Malfoy! Its bloody Malfoy! MALFOY! Merlin, Harry Potter, my best friend, shagging fucking Malfoy! And not even telling me!")

Harry bit the tip of his tongue to contain his laughter at Ron's inability to speak properly because of his broken nose, a bloodied cloth was pressed to his nostrils as he continued to rant in disbelief. Hermione had finally told Ron what had been going on since the beginning of the year shortly after Harry had run out of the Great Hall during breakfast that morning. He had been prying at Hermione and took her to the dormitories to talk to her when she finally cracked under the pressure he was putting her under. She told him what Harry had been going through, or what he had decided on telling her, since the beginning of the year and Ron absolutely refused to believe her at first. He argued he knew Harry like his own wand and claimed his best friend wouldn't lie or keep secrets from him and set off to go talk to Harry himself. But that was around the time Malfoy had discovered them barely exiting the dormitories and he wasted no time, demanding to know where Harry was to speak to him. Right then, Ron finally believed his girlfriend and quickly defended his friend from ''that bloody ferret'', telling him to fuck off and to leave him alone, accusing him as the cause of Harry's recent misery.

Harry watched as the redhead flailed around their dorm room, continuing to shout and rant about how he still couldn't believe it and how he somehow hadn't seen it before. Luckily there was a silencing charm placed on the room once they locked the door so Harry was at ease when he knew no one else would hear their conversation, if Ron didn't somehow manage to break the spell with all his screaming. He continued to watch his friends as Hermione followed behind Ron, trying to get him to sit down to keep him from injuring himself any longer and she lectured him along with it, telling him that Harry needed their support and to get over his shock and face the true facts already. Harry couldn't help but be highly amused as they bickered with one another and he felt himself wondering if this was a glimpse of what his future held with the two of them, except with mini versions of themselves wandering around and causing havoc on their own.

Chuckling softly to himself, he spoke up in an attempt to break apart the arguing couple, "Alright alright, settle down, I know it comes as a shock that I was-"

"Of courth ith wath a shocth! You shaggth Mafolth Harrth! I almosth passeth outh when 'Mione tolth meh!"("Of course it was a shock! You shagged Malfoy Harry! I almost passed out when 'Mione told me!"), Ron shouted, slumping down onto his bed while still holding the bloodied cloth against his nose. "Ith noth likth we ethpethed somethinth likth thith!" ("It's not like we expected something like this!") He rolled his eyes as he stared at him accusingly, pointed his finger at Hermione who had plopped down next to him and stroked his knee gently, "Ather all! She thnew all alonth! Unlikth meh who finths outh lasth abouth everthinth!" ("After all! She knew all along! Unlike me who finds out last about everything!")

Hermione threw him a glare, Harry rolled his eyes as he sighed loudly and decided to set things right between him and Ron,

"Look, I told Hermione first because she tends to...handle things more calmly then you." He paused, "Well, she did try strangling me when I first told her but that's beside the point. I just didn't want to lose you as a friend Ron, your one of my best mates. I just didn't know how you would react since you don't exactly have much modesty for homosexuals...Not that I've seen anyway. I was just worried about putting out friendship at stake, and I'm sorry I lied, your right I should've told you earlier. But I just wasn't ready for that just yet...I'm sorry Ron. Truly." He added in quickly with a huff, crossing his arms slightly, "And no offense but you deserved that punch from Malfoy, you shouldn't use such an offensive term for gays like that.."

Harry drew in a long breath as he finished, feeling relief and weight being hauled off of his chest. Ron sat there, quiet for a moment before he looked away and pouted childishly as he said defendsively, "I neveth saith I didnth likth homothexuaths...I wouldvth athepthed you ythknow, sthorry for sthaying thath... Anth I wasnth readth whenth he swthung!" ("I never said I didn't like homosexuals...I would've accepted you yknow, sorry for saying that... And I wasn't ready when he swung!") Nodding his head slightly, Harry smiled, "Well yes, I know that now Ron and I'm glad you do, it means a lot to me to be accepted by my friends and I accept your apology as well. Plus it was hard enough having to come out to Hermione when I wasn't ready." He stole a glance at his bushy haired friend who darted her eyes back and forth from Ron to Harry then to Ron again and she spoke up quickly,

"I-I was concerned was all! He wasn't telling us anything and I wanted to help him out like a good friend! Unlike you Ron, who only cares about how long it'll be before your next meal." She snapped angrily in an attempt to defend herself, and before either could respond, she turned back to Harry, looking at him guiltily and apologetically,

"Harry...I can understand if you're upset with me... Since I did tell a secret of yours that wasn't mine to tell..." She lowered her eyes, biting her lip slightly, "Just...I was so worried about you...Ever since you and Malfoy...hooked up I guess is the appropriate word for it, you truly haven't been yourself at all these past few months. You were always so closed up with everyone, you hardly spoke or saw anyone, you never wanted to spend time with us... You were always just holding in all these emotions without telling anyone, not even your best friends, about what was going on..." She looked up again, her eyes slightly teary, "We're your best friends Harry... I'm sorry if you feel secluded from us since we got together over the summer but we'll always be there for you whenever you need us. Even when you don't think you deserve it or don't want to speak about it, it's better than shouldering all of those emotions and events to yourself. Allow us to help you sometime Harry, we're a trio and I wish it to remain that way, no matter what we come across. We're still a team."

As Hermione finished her speech, she softly began to cry and Ron quickly wrapped his free arm around her, murmuring comforting words into her ear as Harry watched, still processing her words. "_We're still a team._" Standing up slowly, Harry walked forward towards his friends and he embraced them squeezing them tightly. He brought them as close as he could, not caring if he got Ron's nose blood or Hermione's tears and snot all over him. He didn't say anything, allowing himself to just feel the comfort and acceptance of his friends, even feeling a tear or two roll down his cheek as he felt pride for having such amazing friends. If possible, he pulled them closer and muttered softly,

"What would I do without you two.."

"I donth know mathe, you're sthuck with uth for lifth."  
("I don't know mate, you're stuck with us for life.")


	8. Sunset and Sunrise

_**"What would I do without you two.."**_

_Harry felt himself gasping for air, his lungs beginning to burn as he tried to swallow gulps of air. Breathing in and out in short desperate pants, he saw his icy breath appearing in small white puffs of air as he continued to run in the cold outside corridor. Weakness and tiredness was causing his legs to shake badly and he was surprised his knees hadn't buckled just yet, they were already at their limit, and they were burning as much as his lungs and he felt as if they were going to collapse at any second and send him hurling to the cold stone floor. _

_Lifting up his head slightly as his robes whipped behind him in silent flutters, he could hazily see a cloaked figure ahead of him, running as he was in a desperate act to get away, get away from him. Why? Harry didn't know, all he knew was that he had to catch this person, and he wouldn't stop for anything, absolutely nothing would keep him from running. Muffled and unrecognizable words rolled over his tongue when he tried to speak, he could feel the vibrations of his shouts ring off the walls and echo into his ears but he couldn't make out what he was saying. It sounded like an unknown language of garbled words._

_Determination was the only thing keeping him going at this point, despite the shock and confusion he felt as well, and it was keeping him running after the person that had slowed just barely and was now just a few feet ahead. The cloaked figure showed no signs of stopping, not even turning to glance at him when he shouted, they continued to dart behind every corner that nearly sent them skidding and crashing, the sound of their feet pounding against the concrete floor rang off the halls dimly. _

_The figure's robe was whisking around behind them wildly and time seemed to slow down for just a brief moment, and Harry raised a stiff arm. He shouted more muffled words as he reached out for the cloak slowly, finally getting close enough to the figure, so close he felt the fabric of the silky cloak graze over his fingertips as he grasped onto it just barely and yanked it back..._

Harry's eyes snapped open as he jolted up, almost throwing his covers off and he nearly slammed himself against the headboard of his bed, his arm automatically reaching out as it grasped nothing but air. Panting slightly, he blinked before gasping in pain as he jerked his arm back and quickly brought both of his hands to his head, grimacing in pain.

Although he was growing accustomed to the headaches that came soon after he awakened from dreams such as this, the pain that accompanied it still one hell of a punch. It quickly started it's punishment, and was soon hammering invisible fists against his brain mercilessly. Gripping his thick messy hair that felt damp from sweat, Harry continued to keep his eyes screwed shut and he waited impatiently as the aching pain dulled away and turned into a throbbing migraine instead.

With a silent and exhausted groan, he fell back onto his bed with a quiet _oof, _the bed creaking slightly in response to the heavy weight. Harry gripped the bridge of his nose, sighing loudly to himself as his head continued to throb, the migraine getting worse by the second. Opening a single eye, he squinted for his glasses as he reached out in almost complete darkness, replacing where his fingers were on his nose with his thick glossy glasses instead. Rubbing the side of his head slightly, he blinked a few more times while waiting for his tired eyes to adjust to the darkness and with great effort, he turned his aching head, looking at the nearly broken clock as he checked for the time.

Seeing he would have to be getting up soon, even though it was the weekend he still wanted to get to breakfast on time before heading to the library to catch up on homework to get Hermione's constant nagging voice to leave him alone, he decided to lay in bed for a few more minutes. Gazing around the room briefly, he was relieved when he saw that his racket making hadn't awaken any of his sleeping dorm mates, not even Dean who happened to be the lightest sleeper out of all of them and awoke at the slightest sound. Ron's soft snoring and Neville's silent mumbling reached his ears so he turned his attention to stare at the blank wall, his arms crossed across his chest that rose up and down again as he let out another sigh. Reaching up, he rubbed the scar on his forehead and ran a finger over the smooth scar, soon getting lost in thought as his mind wandered to the dream he just had.

The dream had been occurring ever since the almost fight with Draco and Ron happened, which was nearly a week ago, and it always happened the same way, him running after a cloaked figure and just before he could reveal who it was he was chasing, he was yanked from the dream and pulled from his deep sleep into a cold revealing reality. Absentmindedly, he squinted his eyes in focus and he stopped rubbing his scar, and he dug through his memories in hopes to find something that helped him recognize the corridor and hallways he had been running in but despite his desperate attempts, he never found anything that reminded him of it and the scenery around him was much too hazy to see or recognize, plus he only remembered what he had seen for a few moments before it seemed to disappear from his mind.

He had let his friends know about the re-occurring dreams, they were more then glad he was finally turning to them again, but he had mostly talked to Hermione since she would have a better chance of knowing what was happening. After he finished telling her every detail and asking her If she knew anything, she had responded that she hadn't heard anything of that sort before in all of the readings she had done but had promised him she would try to look into it over her Christmas break. She also told him she'd send an owl to him as fast as she could if she found anything. That made Harry feel a bit better but also depressed him, mostly at her mention of Christmas Break, which would begin tomorrow and his friends would be leaving that very day. He'd be stuck here by himself like he always was and began to wonder if the Dursley's would send him another single smelly sock like they did every year.

Harry didn't have time to think of anything else Hermione had said since his head began throbbing more now and he hissed quietly in pain. Moving his hand away from his head, he brought his attention to the window near his bed. After all, it was better than staring at a cracked stone wall, right?

As he stared out, he watched as the sun was just beginning to rise behind the dark forest and he casted a shadow over his eyes with his arms to protect himself from the brightness of the sun. It looked like it had snowed again during the night, the entire landscape covered in undisturbed beautiful glistening snow. It almost seemed as it was actually covered in millions of small shimmering diamonds, hundreds of them twinkling together in symphony. Harry felt taken aback at the stunning sight as he continued to stare, but he was mostly stunned by the beauty that the sky held.

On one part of the sky, it was still dark and covered by the night time that was still making it's leave before day time took over its place. Dark blues, blacks, and even the faintest tints of purple were mingled together and clouded the sky beautifully, if Harry squinted hard enough he could see the dull glow of the stars off in the distance. As for the other side of the sky, it was just as beautiful. The sunrise was consisting of bright colors that were opposite of the night time. Red, orange, yellow and a dash of a faint pink were mixed and clouded with each other, it was completely a different world. The two different worlds collided with each other magnificently, almost as if there was a silent war between dark and light taking place in the sky.

Harry continued to stare, it was just to much of a stunning scene and he couldn't bring himself to look away. As he stared, he suddenly thought of Draco and Cedric, Draco being the night time and Cedric being the day time. He shivered at the thought, wondering why it came up so suddenly but disregarded it and he decided it was time for him to get up before he got confused again. Sparing one more glance at the scenery, he watched for a brief moment as the sunrise slowly began over-taking the darkened sky, and just before he turned away, he noticed the dark colors had seemed to over-take the bright colors for a moment.

Just a single moment.

"Are you positive you don't want to go with us mate?.."

The day had went by very quickly, everyone was getting ready to head home for the holidays and the entire day students were busy packing last minute items, trading addresses with each other to owl one another, and avoiding seeing their teachers who would surely give them some last minute assignments to do. The train would be leaving soon, the final whistles to board screeching in the air followed by puffs of white smoke that caused everyone to rush into the line to get aboard. Ron and Hermione would be joining the shortening line in a few moments, but were sticking around for Harry to say their last few farewells to each other. Most of the students had left already and were boarded on the train but a few were scattered here and there, talking to their friends and wishing them a Happy Christmas before they left, a few trading early gifts with one another.

Harry rolled his eyes at Ron's words, knowing it was pointless to ask him something like that, especially at such a late time but he was happy that his friend showed he cared. He could always depend on them to make him feel important.

"I'm sure Ron. Besides, we both know it's too late for me to change my mind anyway. I'll be alright here." He gestured to a few other students that would be staying behind as well. "Besides, it's not like I'll be by myself this year like I always am and you can always owl me whenever you get the chance and I'll do the same."

Ron frowned slightly at his friends words but nodded in understanding, and he smiled in an attempt to make the mood less upsetting, "Well, alright Harry. Have a Happy Christmas. I'll be sure to bring back the ghastly sweaters my mother will most likely make for the lot of us. I don't know how you can handle those itchy things..."

Harry laughed as Hermione glared at her boyfriend for making such a rude statement, she'd definitely be telling his mother what he said once they got to his home. The redhead jump slightly at her intense gaze, definitely not wanting to anger her any further and get scolded by his girlfriend. He picked up his and Hermione's bags in a hurry and took them to be checked off by Filch, who was giving them dirty looks for taking so long while he tapped his foot impatiently at the trio.

Harry's laughter lowered down to a small chuckle only to laugh loudly again as he and Hermione watched Ron nearly topple over the bags, an undignified yelp ringing out loudly and reaching their ears. he turned to give his girlfriend and best friend an embarrassed glare before talking to Filch, who was looking rather amused with the scene that had just played before him. Hermione laughed softly, turning back to Harry, looking at him for a few seconds before she yanked him forward and hugged him tightly, crushing him.

"Happy Christmas Harry, we'll be back before you know it." She whispered quietly, and Harry could hear the sadness in her voice and could feel her trembling slightly. He rubbed her back awkwardly in an attempt to comfort her before returning her hug.

"Happy Christmas... Please Hermione, I'll be fine. If anything happens, I'll be sure to owl you and Ron as soon as possible. I promise." Harry murmured softly as they broke the hug.

Hermione smiled, rubbing her eyes as she gave him one last, less bone crushing, hug.

"I'm holding you to that, I hope you know."

Waving a last good-bye to his friends before they disappeared onto the train, Harry decided not to watch it descend, it would just depress him more so he turned to make his leave. Another whistle to board the train met his ears, and he saw the last remaining students scramble to get aboard. Harry didn't pay them any mind as he left, barely making it around the station corner to where the thestrals were waiting to take him back to Hogwarts, when he was pulled back by a hand and pressed up against the wall of the station, hidden from where people were wandering about in Hogsmeade a desperate attempt to get last minute gifts for Christmas.

Harry was about to hex whoever had grabbed him so suddenly but instead he was confused by who he saw before him, holding him gently.

"...Cedric?"

Cedric was hovering over him, looking swiftly in the direction of the train before looking back to Harry.

"I'm sorry this is so sudden Harry, but there's something I have to tell you." he said in a rushed voice, squeezing his shoulders, his hands were trembling slightly.

The train blew it's final whistle.

Before Harry could speak, Cedric cut him off, bringing his face closer to Harry and he brushed their noses together softly. Brown eyes were staring deeply into Harry's green ones, who felt his heart jump at their closeness and he almost forgot how to breathe. Cedric murmured quietly, moving, if possible, closer, cupping Harry's flushed face.

"Harry...I...I like you."

And then he kissed him.

* * *

_**Wow I am so sorry for the long absence. I don't really have any excuse accept that my computer crashed a few weeks ago and all the progress I had on this story was lost and it really killed my motivation. Thank my girlfriend for pushing me to continue this story because I honestly was not going to but I think I will. Updates may be slow though.**_

_**Anyway, let me know what you think in the reviews~**_


	9. Piano Full Of Regrets

_**And then he kissed him.**_

_"Harry, I like you."_

The words made him absolutely _sick._

_"Harry, I like you."_

The words made him want to cast every illegal curse that _existed_.

_"Harry, I like you."_

The words made him want to _kill._

As Harry and Cedric stared into each other eyes, Draco Malfoy watched in silent horror behind the corner of a wall as the scene before him took place, the world around him slowing down as he watched in numbing silence as the man he adored, the man he had silently protected, the man he had _secretly fallen in love with..._

Be kissed by another who had confessed to him a few short moments ago.

Draco was frozen where he stood, both hands gripping on the grimey brick wall while slowly tightening into fists, gray eyes wide and unblinking, his breath was caught in his throat as he watched the two different pairs of lips connect sweetly, the older teen's hand gently caressing along the others smooth cheek and broad jawline as their eyes slipped closed, the younger wrapping his arms around the taller males shoulders and bringing them closer together in a tight embrace.

It made him want to puke.

Draco felt the urge to scream, to shout, to cry, to pull them apart as he would originally have done so but he found himself incapable of moving and incapable of turning away from the scene that was shredding his heart into millions of pieces.

All he could do was stare.

He watched the older male break the kiss with _his _Golden Boy, he watched him smile broadly at _his _beloved and he watched him giving _his _Harry one last caress before he took off, his ticket waving madly in his hand as he ran for the descending train.

Numbly, Draco turned away, hiding from the view of other people that scurried past him and he slumped against the cold, hard wall. His body tried to move, even the slightest inch but his strength had utterly abandoned him. His chest was burning, almost like it was on fire and melting on the inside, yet his entire body felt cold, the chilled breezes in the air nipping at him harshly like never before. A high ringing was all he heard as he looked down at his lap, seeing how much his hands were trembling.

Draco was surprised to see glistening droplets falling into his hands, splattering into smaller wet droplets. He glanced up at the darkened cloudy sky staring sympathetically down at him, wondering if it was snowing again but seeing nothing, he dumbly touched his face and felt a hot wetness on the tips of his fingers.

If Draco wasn't so much in shock he would've laughed at himself for crying.

A great Malfoy like him? Crying over someone that he himself had pushed away? Crying over something that was entirely his fault? He couldn't even remember the last time that he had cried. Why was he crying? What a load of rubbish is what he would've thought minutes ago.

Yet here he was, slouched against a filthy wall in the snow, crying silently to himself as the man he loved had just finished snogging some other fucking bastard.

Gripping his shirt tightly when he felt pain shoot through his burning chest, Draco felt his fingers close tightly around an emblem, hidden well underneath his shirt. An emblem no one knew he had, not his friends, not his parents, not even the one that had given it to him over a year ago. He squeezed the familiar object it until his hand began to hurt and he muttered under his breath as he felt his voice shake,

"I...I r-regret what I did third year..", he choked out to himself quietly, a few more tears rolling down his pale, cold cheeks. "I regret it so much Harry.." Draco let out a choked sob and he whispered out painfully,

"I'd never of fallen in love with you."

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Draco thought things couldn't possibly get any worse, he felt himself die once more in less than five minutes when he heard the hushed voice of his beloved Harry whisper something under his breath from the other side of the wall,

"I think... I may like you too."

The words completely destroyed him.

* * *

_Draco sighed heavily in the dark, his hands folded over each other as they rested upon his chest while he stared out absentmindedly at the darkened night from inside of his dorm room. It was another one of those nights, one of those nights where his insomnia kept him awake until the break of dawn. Another night of being left alone in the dark with nothing but his thoughts to accompany him. __The only visible light was the very faint glow of the sun starting to awaken from behind the horizon._

_Shifting slightly, he winced when his muscles ached from the busy day he had before. His body was exhausted from Quidditch practice and it begged for some rest before the next day, which had yet another scheduled Quidditch practice in it. But alas, here he was, in the dark, wide awake._

_How fucking annoying._

_Scowling silently to himself, Draco thought that after playing for quite some time and practicing nearly every day every summer, he would be used to the weekly exercises by now, or at least be better at the game since it was already in his third year of playing. It was his third year at Hogwarts already, and he felt disappointed with himself when he still saw that 'oh so wonderful Potter' was still better than him._

_Not that he'd ever actually admit something like that out loud._

_Draco felt his blood begin to boil at the thought of his rival so he shook his head and pushed the stupid Gryffindor into the back of his mind. Sighing again to himself and feeling annoyed that he hadn't improved much over the years, he shifted his eyes from the beautiful fading stars to glance over at the clock that sat on his nightstand. _

_He groaned quietly when he saw the time._

_"4:14 A.M." he mumbled in disbelief as he sat up, tossing his warm covers to the other side in a swift movement. His insomnia hadn't kept him awake this long before and he prayed to Merlin that this was a one time thing and it wouldn't be happening often._

_Draco tensed slightly when the noise of his blanket thrown caused one of his dorm mates to shift in their sleep, which one he didn't know but it's not like it mattered, they were used to him getting up in the middle of the night; After all, he suffered from insomnia ever since he was ten and it didn't look like it would be leaving him alone any time soon so he and his friends might as well get used to his nightly awakenings._

_Shivering slightly when his feet touched the ice cold floor, he internally cursed whoever it was that decided to place Slytherin house in the dungeons, a horrible idea if you asked him, before standing up._

_Draco knew the only way to help him sleep were two things._

_A Sleeping Draught Potion, which he had run out of since he was forced to use them so often._

_Or a brief walk._

_Debating whether or not it was safe to go out so late at night and get in trouble, Draco decided to take his chances. His brain was too mentally exhausted to bother considering the punishments he may receive if he were to be caught but he only focused on one objective, to get some sleep, even if it was a measly couple of hours it was better than nothing._

_Throwing on his robes quickly and slipping on some shoes, he left the darkened room as quietly as he could, not wanting to disturb his dorm mates who had nasty tempers when awoken, and he swiftly walked through the empty common room towards the entrance. Salazar, the man in the portrait, didn't spare Draco a glance when he walked out, he was used to his nightly walks as well over Draco's time there but he never warned him about leaving so late during the night or in this situation, this early in the morning. He just didn't care enough about the punishment one of his fellow Slytherins could receive and just went on with whatever business he had going on in his portrait. _

_Draco did notice his glare since he had awoken him and not wanting to blow his cover by making the painting yell and curse, he quickly apologized for awakening him and continued on his way._

_He roamed freely around the castle for quite some time, going down several different hallways, up and down different shifting flights of stairs and he had to admit, it was rather peaceful with everyone sleeping in their beds. The castle was surprisingly quiet, and luckily for him, Filche nor his wretched cat were not anywhere to be seen, but then again who would be awake this early in the morning? That was what he thought as he walked calmly up the stairs that led to the Astronomy Tower, his favorite place to escape to besides his room, but he came to an abrupt halt when he realized he wasn't the only one there._

_Curled up asleep in the corner was none other than his rival._

_Harry. Fucking. Potter._

_Draco couldn't believe his eyes as he stared from afar at the back of his rival, sleeping soundly, not knowing how defenseless he was to the other wizard in the room with him._

_It was just too fucking good._

_Thanking Merlin for granting him such a beautiful opportunity, Draco wasted no time and he tiptoed closer to the sleeping body, a wicked smile on his face as he pulled out on his wand. He had to bite his lower lip to keep himself from laughing and his mind rapidly thought of the dozens of hexes and spells he could use on poor defenseless sleeping Golden Boy but before he got a chance to curse the Gryffindor, Harry suddenly turned in his sleep, facing the Slytherin._

_Draco froze on spot, his smile disappearing in an instant, his wand dropped to his side and he felt his face flush._

_The sun had risen up and flushed its glorious rays of sunlight over the tower, pouring sunlight over the tower and over the two boys accompanying it. Harry was practically glistening in the light, his hair was messier than usual and it shone brightly, making it look sleek and soft. He was covered up in his robes but they were messy as well, his tie hung loosely around his neck and his shirt was unbuttoned slightly, showing his lower neck and collarbone, his skin was completely flawless. His glasses were on the floor, probably fell off during his time asleep, and he looked completely different. He looked peaceful sleeping so soundly.._

_Harry looked...__**beautiful.**_

_All Draco could do was stare, his mouth gaping open slightly as he looked at the gorgeous Gryffindor before him, his heart was beating quickly and his throat suddenly felt dry. Swallowing hard, he continued to stare, everything bad about Harry disappeared from thought and he felt himself beginning to reach out for the boy, wanting to touch him._

_Draco's heart jumped when his fingers made contact with the smooth sleeping face. Gently, he stroked Harry's jawline for a few seconds, getting lost in the moment, and Draco enjoyed it, just the two of them there alone in the Astronomy Tower. Before Draco could think of what he was doing or what his body was doing, he felt himself lean in and before he could stop it, a softness was pressed against his lips._

* * *

_Draco ran, he ran away from the Astronomy Tower, not caring about the noise he was making nor about the chance of getting caught. He ran all the way back to the dungeons, nearly falling over several times and he breathlessly whispered the password to the portrait before fleeing inside and quietly going back to his room._

_Crawling back into bed, Draco stared blankly at the wall. He felt his heart thudding against his chest, his fingers felt tingly where they had made contact with Harry, and his face felt hot and flushed. Rolling onto his back, Draco stared up at the ceiling, not believing what he had just done or saw but mostly, he didn't believe his actions. He glanced at his hand like he had been burned and the image of Harry sleeping came back to his mind, looking so peaceful and beautiful, it made him want to scream while his stomach did flip flops._

_Draco softly touched his lips where they had, just minutes ago, been pressed up against the one he hated but he was surprised when he realized what he was doing._

_He was smiling._

* * *

_CRACK._

Draco punched the wall in his bathroom one last time as the wonderful and painful memory faded from his mind. He was back at Hogwarts after finally dragging himself from the train station and he was stuck here the entire break with the person he wanted to avoid the most, he was the only Slytherin to stay behind and in the mood he was in, he was thankful for it. The mirror in his bathroom had been shattered by a fist going through it and the stone wall in front of it, had small stains of blood dripping down it.

More blood was dripping down from Draco's trembling finger tips.

Draco felt so stupid, he felt so weak and cowardly and above all, he felt utterly pathetic.

How could he expect Harry to keep coming back to him? How could he think that staying for the holidays, ruining his family tradition for Christmas by staying, staying behind to confess everything to Harry, to win him back and to be with him like how it was supposed to ever since he had kissed him in that Astronomy Tower, how could he think that this was some sort of fairy tale bullshit and they would magically land up together?

How could he think that Harry wouldn't go after someone else?

_"I like you too. I like you too. I like you too."_

The words continued to torment him, echoing loudly in his head.

_"I like you too."_

Draco punched the wall weakly one more time and he let out a pained gasp but it wasn't his aching hand that caused it.

Instead it was his broken heart.

He was breathing heavily, his chest heaving up and down, his knuckles were bloodied and bruised and shaking, badly. He didn't feel the pain although, he was already in too much pain. It felt like he was dying, like every part of him was being stabbed over and over relentlessly and there wasn't anything he could do to stop it.

_Draco couldn't breathe._

Standing up quickly, Draco grabbed his robe and threw it on and he fixed up his bloody knuckles messily with some bandages, ignoring the stinging pain as he wrapped them roughly with white gauze, before throwing open the door to his private room. He nearly ran out of the common room, and he took off down the hall, his feet tapping against the floor and making echoes among the practically empty castle. His legs took him wherever it was he was going, he needed to get away, he needed to get away from Hogwarts, from Harry, from _him._

_"Music, music, music." _Is all that was going through his mind. Draco felt his fingers itching with a need, a need to play.

He wanted to play a piano.

Ever since he was a child, he was forced to learn to play the musical instrument and at first he couldn't stand it. Having to sit for over three hours on a hard bench, tapping different keys at once while being yelled at by his teacher, it was dreadful for him as a child. But everything changed when he realized he could use his music as an escape and it was the only way to make him feel better. Whenever he was angry, hurt, sad, happy, or even just calm, playing music helped him to release everything he was feeling, everything he couldn't say into words he would speak out loud with the beautiful tones of the piano. Draco could see himself now, a beautiful white piano glimmering brightly, his fingers swiftly running over the smooth keys as he allowed himself to get lost in the sound of heartfelt music...

But where the hell would he find a piano?

Sighing in anger and frustration at the thought of not being able to play, Draco continued his walk when he heard sudden shifting and groaning come from behind him.

The wall that was nothing but a, well, a wall before now had enormous doors and Draco let out a small and weak smile.

The Room of Requirement.

Draco hesitated for a moment, the memories of him and...

Shaking his head and blinking rapidly to keep himself from losing it, Draco ran for the doors and opened them, slipping inside as they slammed shut behind him.

Inside he saw the beautiful white piano he had imagined in the middle of a dark room, practically glowing. He saw a faint kind of spotlight from above that was directed over the piano, which was causing it to glow in the first place but he didn't care, it was stunning either way. Taking a few steps forward, he gently touched the majestic instrument and hovered a few fingers over a few keys. Taking in a breath, he pressed down on them

A soft minor chord of _A, C, &amp; E, _rang out and Draco let out the breath he was holding, almost immediately his body relaxed as the tune faded out in the distance.

Draco fixed the now bloodied bandages on his hands and carefully took his place on the bench that was in front of the piano. Gliding his injured fingers over the keys carefully and placing them where they were meant to be, he shut his eyes as a song he learned long ago came to him and, not noticing that he wasn't alone in the room anymore as someone had entered while he was distracted, he began to play.

And he began to sing.

_"Sometimes I wish we'd never spoken..."_

* * *

**_Pardon any mistakes, I was so excited when my motivation came back that I feel as if I rushed through this quickly. Nevertheless, excuse my absence and poor knowledge of playing the piano. Review please~_**


	10. Musical Answers

_**Quick note, please listen to "Where No One Goes by Jonsi" during this scene. I promise you will not regret it.**_

_**Enjoy~**_

* * *

_**"Sometimes I wish we'd never spoken..."**_

Harry was absolutely _flying _with happiness_._

Literally.

Ever since he came back from the train station, he had an ear splitting grin on his face. Cedric nearly missed his train for him, Cedric had actually liked him ever since last year, Cedric had _kissed him._

Merlin! It was like a dream except Harry was actually living it.

The first thing Harry did once he got back to Hogwarts was run up to his house dormitories, bang open the door to his room, grab a piece of parchment along with a quill and ink bottle, and write letters to both Ron and Hermione, telling them everything that had happened. He was so excited while writing that he spilled the ink bottle all over his letters and he had to redo them over again.

Twice.

After finishing up the letters and giving them to an awaiting Hedwig and sending her off to The Burrow to wait for Ron and Hermione to arrive, Harry grabbed the soft and long brightly colored scarf Cedric had given to him and he hugged it tightly. He could still smell the sweet vanilla scent that clung to it and quickly he wrapped it securely around his neck.

He instantly felt warmer than before.

Grabbing his broomstick that he'd brought in earlier that day, having to hide it from the teachers since it was against the rules, he ran back out of Gryffindor Tower. Harry ran down the swirling hallways and down the different staircases, only one place in his mind of where he had to go. He ignored Filch's scoldings and shouts at him when he almost hit Mrs. Norris with his swinging broomstick, he'd deal with it later, and ran up the familiar stairs to the Astronomy Tower.

It was his favorite place to relax, especially whenever he had nightmares. He mostly had come around here back in his second and third year when the nightmares got worse after he faced Voldemort for the first time. Although he had grown out of that and also being caught a few times wandering around at night, he still came every once in a while whenever he wanted to spare a little time for himself alone.

He did recall dreaming once about being kissed by an angel once during his third year and ever since then he felt safer being in the Astronomy Tower, wondering if it was someone who had passed on that was watching him and guarding him from his troubles.

But not thinking about that lovely memory as it was the last thing he wanted to think about, Harry's mind was too preoccupied with what had happened, he continued on his objective. _To fly. _

Not hesitating for a moment or stopping his running, Harry saw the huge opening that led to the outdoors and with another smile and a glint in his eye, he jumped off the edge of the tower into the open air.

Harry let himself fall towards the ground, his scarf whipping behind, arms wide open and still holding his broom tightly in one hand. Shutting his eyes as the wind blew through his hair rapidly, he let out a deep sigh of relief.

He felt so _free._

Smiling brightly and opening his eyes again, Harry twisted his body, shifting himself onto his broom and pulling his broom upward, away from the nearing ground, he soared through the chilly air.

And that's where he was now, flying through the air without a care in the world. The coldness didn't bother him, not one bit, nothing could hurt him or his happiness right now, nothing else mattered in the world. He could die right now and he'd be fine with it because this was the happiest he ever felt in his entire life.

Despite the time when he found out he was actually a wizard but this moment was a close second.

Inhaling a deep breath of the icy air, he continued to soar with the winds and make his way over Hogwarts castle, trying to cover every inch of the sky above it.

The trees shivered and groaned lowly with his passing, dead leaves that fought to hold onto the bald gray branches were ripped off as he zoomed by. A few scarce birds here and that remained despite the cold weather, chirped angrily in his direction him when they were disturbed by his shouts of happiness and laughter.

Harry ignored everything around him as he flew around and around, he dodged anything that got in his way easily, even the Whomping Willow that nearly chucked him off of his broom with a massive swing of its large lumpy branch. The Black Lake was coated with ice he noticed when he soared over it and Harry could see his disfigured reflection looking back at him.

He could see his bright smile.

* * *

Glancing up, he caught site of the bridge that led to Hogwarts, an idea popping in his mind and he steadily flew towards it. Aligning himself perpendicularly from the bridge, Harry completely ignored the horrifying fall below him and flew towards it at a high speed. When he was about forty feet from the bridge, he steadily began standing on his broomstick, something he had nearly mastered.

This was another trick he had been working on, his most dangerous one yet that no one except his friends knew about. He hadn't yet perfected it since Hermione got tired of him nearly getting killed but he decided that the time for perfection would be now, when he was at his most bravest. He pushed back his fears and aimed for his goals, determination on his face as he drew nearer.

Thirty feet.

But it was his first time performing it without Hermione to help catch him if he failed.

_Twenty feet._

Pushing that negative thought away from his mind, he took a deep breath and concentrated on remaining balance as he neared the bridge.

_**Ten feet.**_

Once close enough, and almost standing up straight, he pushed down on the front of his broom stick, causing it to dip downward and with all of his strength, Harry jumped for the bridge.

A puff of white air escaped from his lips, he could hear his heart pounding in his head, it rapidly beating faster and with a close of his eyes, he waited for his feet to touch the hard stone or to feel himself fall into nothingness with no one to save him.

_Thud._

Excitement tingled through Harry, who opened his eyes again and somehow managing to keep his footing after a rough landing, he ran across the bridge quickly, his broom still flying underneath it.

Hopefully at least.

Without hesitation, he leaped over the other side of the bridge, praying to Merlin his broom would have reached the other side.

It had.

Harry landed back on his broomstick almost perfectly but felt a sting go up one of his legs since it hit the side of his broom rather harshly, and with a shaky laugh, he gripped onto it tightly and flew back to the sky, shouting loudly at his success.

Nothing could hurt him now.

* * *

After an hour of flying carelessly and recklessly around, screaming shouts of happiness to the heavens above and daydreaming about handsome Cedric, Harry flew down his broom for the last time that evening. It was getting colder and darker, the wind getting stronger but Harry was still too happy to notice, he practically danced back inside of Hogwarts.

It felt like he was his old self again and he _loved it. _The feeling of being happy was something that he missed and it was all thanks to Cedric.

Harry looked at the scarf still wrapped around his neck, and he remembered the kiss he and Cedric shared briefly.

He flushed pink.

Even though Harry knew he was still in love with Draco, he felt himself beginning to let go of the Slytherin, he still thought about him but then Cedric would come to mind and the thought of Draco would disappear, along with the heartache. He didn't want to rush into things with Cedric although, he'd make sure to write him a letter or talk to him once the break was over, and tell him that he wanted to take things slow. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt the sweet Hufflepuff and he didn't want his feelings for Draco getting in the way of his happiness. And that's when he decided.

Harry would officially begin dating Cedric once he knew he was completely over Draco.

Confidence swelled up in Harry's chest as he made this decision for himself and he felt proud of how he was doing well when just a few weeks ago he had been falling apart. It felt like he could take on anything and anyone, Draco, Snape, and even Voldemort seemed like something that couldn't hurt him.

Shaking them out of his mind, he let his mind flow to other things such as Christmas being only three days away, if Ron and Hermione had received his letter yet or not, if Cedric was thinking about him as much as he was now, and what he should get Cedric for the holidays or if it might be too early to be getting gifts for each other just yet.

He'd have to ask Hermione about that.

As he was walking down the halls, Harry was startled when he heard the soft and rush patter of footsteps coming from nearby and he stopped his walking to see who it could be, the last remaining students would be in their dorms or at dinner by now wouldn't they? Who else would be out here besides a teacher?

Harry was about to take a step forward but froze when he saw who was rushing down the hallways.

"Draco..." he mumbled softly under his breath when he saw the blonde run past, not noticing him standing there.

In an instant, Harry felt sick, his confidence gone and happiness disappeared in an instant at the sight of his ex lover. He thought he would be ready for this but Merlin was he wrong. Seeing the blonde brought questions to his mind. Why was he here? Had he stayed behind to talk to him? Had he stayed behind as a mistake? Where was he going now? Why was he running? Was he in some kind of trouble?

Harry suddenly felt himself caught, one part of him was screaming at him to leave, to not care and to get over him, the other was pleading with him to go after him, to comfort him and to make him feel better.

It was his mind and his heart fighting with each other, Harry didn't know which was which but with a quiet sigh and shake of his head as he turned away, he made his decision.

Harry quietly ran after a fleeing Draco.

* * *

He was furious.

Harry had been following behind Draco for a few minutes now and he was angry with himself that he was doing so, he felt weak and stupid for going after him but despite his attempts to turn himself around and leave, he couldn't. He couldn't leave Draco there as much as he wanted to, he just...couldn't.

"Music, music, music..."

Harry jolted when he heard the soft voice come from the man ahead of him and he thought he'd been caught at first, ducking behind a corner to try and save himself but saw that Draco still hadn't noticed him there. His back was still turned to him so Harry couldn't see his face and Harry guessed that he had a determined look on his face but was curious when Draco had stopped walking. He heard a sharp sigh escape from the Slytherin's lips before he continued walking again, heading off wherever it might be he was going.

Just as Harry was about to follow after him again, the wall suddenly started changing and he ducked behind the corner once again.

Peeking from his hiding spot, Harry saw the blonde standing in front of two magnificent doors and he realized what it was that had revealed itself.

The Room of Requirement.

His heart felt like it had been squeezed when he saw it and painful memories came back to him, making it hard to breath but he forced them away as much as he could. He couldn't let them bother him anymore, he had to be strong.

Silently, he watched Draco linger at the door for a moment and since he was still unable to see his face, Harry couldn't read the emotions he might be feeling. He watched him slip inside the room and Harry felt himself hesitate for a few moments as he stayed behind, biting his lip nervously as he tried to decided to keep following after him or not.

Before he knew it, he was running to the disappearing doors and slipped inside, shutting them behind him as quietly as possible.

Blinking, Harry looked at the scene before him.

A piano? Why on earth would Draco need a piano?

His question was answered soon enough when the blonde carefully glided his fingers over the piano, almost was if he'd break it if he touched it wrong and that's when Harry noticed something he hadn't seen before.

Draco's bloodied and wrapped hands.

Alarms went off in Harry's head as he tried to restrain himself from running over and demanding what happened when he saw them. The bandages were poorly wrapped, the blood looked fresh and he saw the once pale knuckles covered in purple and almost black bruises, a few cuts scattered around them as well.

More questions began popping into his head but they vanished when a soft tune rang out softly along with a quiet relaxed sigh that Harry recognized.

The piano was Draco's way of escaping, his way of escaping from the world, almost like Harry and flying or going to the Astronomy Tower.

Harry didn't know they were similar in some kinds of ways.

Draco was now sitting at the bench, making himself comfortable and Harry simply stared on, eager to see what would happen. Soon enough, Draco began playing a sad tune, his fingers gliding over the piano in a smooth manner which surprised Harry, he didn't know he was so well at playing.

Harry also didn't know that Draco could sing.

* * *

**(Draco's POV)**

_"Sometimes I wish we'd never spoken,_

_Sometimes I wish we'd never met,_

_Sometimes I wish our love never had a chance to start and,_

_Sometimes I wish I had you back..."_

_"I wish this love ended in Autumn,_

_That way it'd float off in the breeze._

_Instead this dark December, I'm all alone and colder than I've ever been._

_And since you left..."_

_"There will be no Christmas.."_

_"At least not for me,_

_This year I'm all alone waiting for the spring."_

_"There will be no Christmas..." _

_"No Santa, no sleigh,_

_But I hope that you know, _

_That through it all... _

_I still wish you a happy holiday_

_I wish you a happy holiday.."_

_"There will be no Christmas_  
_I wish you a happy holiday,_

_There will be no Christmas,_  
_I wish you a happy holiday.."_

_"I wish you a happy holiday..."_

_"There will be no Christmas,_

_At least not for me,_

_This year I'm all alone waiting for the spring..."_

_"There will be no Christmas, _

_No Santa, no sleigh,_

_But I hope that you know,_

_That through it all..._

_I still wish you a happy holiday,_

_I still wish you a happy holiday.."_

As the song came to an end and Draco's voice trailed off, everything was silent in the dark room again. Draco smiled weakly to himself as his eyes began to water, and whispered quietly under his breath,

"I'm sorry Harry, I really fucked up.."

Feeling stupid for speaking to himself, Draco was about to play another tune when the scuffling of feet startled him, followed by the slam of a door and realization dawned upon him.

Someone else had been in the room.

* * *

**_"There Will Be No Christmas by Crown The Empire"_**

**_Sorry its a bit rushed through, pardon any mistakes I made and I hope you enjoy._**

**_Review please~_**


	11. Protecting Sacrifices

_**Someone else had been in the room.**_

As soon as Draco realized he hadn't been alone, he flew from the piano, the seat knocking over with a loud thud that rang loudly in the dark room, and he quickly ran for the door, hoping to catch the person that had been there with him. He couldn't let whoever had heard him start rumors about him and Harry. Even though what he said wasn't exactly a love confession, students at Hogwarts had wild imaginations and he knew for a fact that the story would get twisted into something worse and it would spread like wildfire considering him and Harry were the schools top rivals and anything they did hardly ever went unnoticed.

That thought made Draco's stomach twist painfully and he felt his skin prickle with fear when he realized what would happen if rumors began to spread around.

His father would find out.

His heart skipped a beat when his father crossed his mind. Normally, any other rumor didn't bother him but his father wouldn't react well if he heard about Draco's "homosexual intentions", he knew what would happen, he knew what his father would do to Harry.

He wasn't going to let history repeat itself. Not like it had before.

Clenching his jaw and shaking his head furiously as he yanked open the heavy door, Draco walked out of the Room Of Requirement, his face full of determination to catch the culprit that had been spying on him.

Draco jerked to a halt as soon as he looked up.

Now, Draco Malfoy was someone that was never taken by surprise nor thrown off guard but the last thing he had expected when he bolted out of the Room of Requirement to run after the person that heard him singing, was to see the person he had just been singing about standing a few feet in front of him, staring at him blankly.

A shiver passed through him, the hair on his neck standing up slightly as he swallowed the nervous lump in his throat and twisted his fingers uncomfortably, gripping onto the edge of his sleeve.

A heavy and tense silence hung around the broken up lovers as they stared at each other, neither of the young teenagers making a motion or of them looked away, neither of them blinked, hell, neither of them seemed as if they were breathing. This was the first contact they had in weeks since their fight at the Quidditch Pitch and neither were prepared for this...confrontation? Meeting? Both of them were still hardly moving, their hearts pounding in their chests as the silence stretched on for what seemed like hours, waiting for the other to speak or to do something to get rid of the heavy and awkward silence.

Draco bit the inside of his cheek, pondering over what he should say and he opened his mouth, which caused Harry to visibly tense up, only to close it again and Harry's shoulders slumped back down, almost in a relieved manner. For once, he didn't know what to say, even though the Gryffindor before him had been in his thoughts since they "broke up", Draco couldn't find any words to say. After all, he practically destroyed the person he loved in order to protect him, nearly gave it away that he still had feelings for him and now he was sending mixed signals to the poor guy which would make him suffer even more then he already had these past few weeks.

Then again, he also knew Harry was as dense as a bush and didn't tend to catch things right away.

Draco let out a quiet snort of amusement at the thought and he felt himself flush when he saw Harry raise his eyebrow slightly at him, his eyes flaring with a hint of anger.

Coughing slightly, Draco looked away from Harry, rubbing the back of his neck as he finally forced words out.

"Ah Harr-"

"Don't call me by my name Malfoy."

Draco flinched, feeling hurt at the harsh tone that had been used towards him but Harry was angry, he had every right to be but Draco didn't think his fury would be this terrifying.

"..Right. _Potter, _uhm... How... How are you?"

Of all questions Draco could of asked, it had to be the worst one.

"Worse now that I know you're here. Why are you here anyway Malfoy? Come to ruin the holidays for me as well?", was the cold response he received and it caused him to flinch again.

Letting out a huff of irritation at the attitude he was receiving, Draco struggled to keep his anger from showing and he bit his lip to keep any sly remarks from escaping from his quick tongue. Clenching his jaw slightly, he responded,

"I'm not here to argue with you Potter." Draco started off slowly as he tried to think of a lie, "A few things happened that kept me from going home for the holidays and as you can see I'm stuck here.."

Draco was met with silence as he watched Harry look him up and down as if he would attack him. When no response came, he was about to continue when Harry spoke up.

"What is it that you want from me Malfoy?"

"...I don't want anythi-"

"Why were you singing about me?"

"I can assure you that I wasn't-"

"Bullshit."

Draco felt his stomach clench, Harry wasn't was dense as he thought. Sighing loudly, Draco rubbed his temple while closing his eyes for a few moments. He knew this wasn't going to end well and regretted the decision to start a conversation with Harry but he knew it would have to be over with one way or another.

"Potter, I'm not in the mood for arguing right now-," an irritated grunt came from the man in front of him, "-as I have a lot of things on my mind. I play and sing to help get things off of my mind," Draco glared at Harry for a moment for his rude interruption and felt his cheeks redden as he said this, "The song is just one that came to my head in the spur of the moment, it had no hidden meaning behind it as you think it did."

Draco kept his eyes shut for a few seconds as the words came from his mouth, he didn't want to see the look on Harry's face when he said that. He knew he was hurting him, he knew he was causing more damage, but he _had no choice. _This was the only way to keep him safe, and dammit if the cost of Harry's protection was to be hated by him then so be it.

Opening his eyes finally, Draco turned away from the Gryffindor and he avoided looking at him directly, keeping his eyes focused on the floor,

"I won't be bothering you during our break and I expect you not to bother me as well with silly assumptions you may have.", he turned to take his leave but not before he cut through the last connection that he and Harry may still have, "Don't think that the song held meaning and if it did.."

"..it wouldn't be for you."

The words were cold and Draco knew it but he couldn't afford to lose Harry, not like before. He would do anything to keep history from repeating itself and as much as he hated it, he had to let Harry go and if the only way to get Harry from following after him was to hurt him, then he had no choice but to do it.

A hand on his shoulder pulled Draco back, turning him around and before Draco could process anything, a hardened fist smashed into the side of his jaw, causing him to stumble and fall back onto the stone floor flat on his arse.

Slowly, the Slytherin sat up before standing back up onto his feet, one hand nurturing his quickly swelling jaw while the other closed tightly into a fist. He glared daggers up at the boy that stood in front of him, being met with an equally icy glare. Harry continued to stare at him angrily, his chest heaving as he kept his hands closed in fists and Draco noticed his face turn a light tint of red from anger.

"What the fuck did-"

"I fucking hate you."

Draco felt his stomach drop as the words came from Harry's mouth and the hand he had pressed up against his jaw fell limply to his side.

"W-what-"

"I hate you Malfoy."

Harry stated again, more loudly this time.

"I hate you so much Malfoy, Merlin it's scary." Harry started off harshly, keeping his eyes staying in contact with grey ones.

"After everything that you've put me through these last few months, you expect me to just pretend that it never happened Malfoy? To pretend that we never had sex, that I never gave you everything I could, that I never tormented myself for weeks trying to get something from you besides fucking each others brains out, that I never sulked over for you for days on end, that I never was absolutely miserable with you while you weren't even bothered by the fact that I was dying inside?"

Harry took a small pause before you he muttered out quietly,

"You want me to pretend.. that I never loved you?"

Draco felt his heart wrench when he saw Harry's face soften for a moment before it saddened, he saw the small glint in Harry's eyes and bit his lip when he saw the flow of tears fall.

"I...I loved you Draco... I did what I thought was my best for you and.." he laughed cruelly to himself, "And you didn't see me as nothing more than a good shag you could toy around with until you got bored.." Harry bit his lip, looking away for a moment as he smiled sadly to himself, before roughly rubbing his face with his robe sleeve and he looked back at Draco again, his face hardening.

"I'm tired of your games, your mixed signals, crying over you, and feeling so dead inside. I'm tired of lying to my friends that I'm ok, that I'll be alright, of being told that I'll be able to move on eventually and I'll find someone else.."

Harry looked down at the yellow and black scarf wrapped around his neck and the thought of Cedric warmed his aching heart and a small smile formed over his lips. Harry looked at Draco, dead in the eye and he stated coldly.

"I'm tired of loving you."

* * *

**Long time since I updated. Sorry about that, I was stuck on this chapter for some time. Hopefully things will roll more smoothly from now on and I'll be able to update more often. Yes, this chapter is very short but it is for certain reasons. Anyway, review~ Let me know what you think is going to happen and what Malfoy meant by "history repeating itself." Ciao~**


	12. The White Lilac (Part 1)

_**"I'm tired of loving you."**_

**Draco Malfoy knew that he was... different.**

**For as long as he could remember, he felt as if he didn't belong anywhere, that he had no place, that he was just a thing that took up space and pretended to be actually worth something. Everyone around him had their own placement, his mother, his father, other children he played with occasionally, except for him. **

**It wasn't as if he was ugly or had any deformations, he had come from the more attractive side of the gene pool and he thanked Merlin for it everyday, but the struggle he felt was an internal conflict, not external. **

**Something inside him wasn't..right.**

**He felt a huge gap, that hung between him and other people, even to his own parents. He felt that something was off with him, something that no one else had besides him, something that he didn't consider "normal."**

**Now, all that changed when young Draco, barely the age of eleven, met a certain boy with bright green eyes and a strange scar but before that fateful day when Draco realized his place in the world, he knew for a fact that he was different from everyone else.**

**And he hated himself for it.**

**Constantly, he fought within himself, trying to feel the same things that other children his age did. He laughed, he smiled, he did his best in school to make his parents, he did everything that every other kid did. He did what was normal and he enjoyed the warm feeling it produced.**

**But why didn't he, himself, actually feel normal?**

**That question, was finally answered when he was barely six years old, and it had ended badly.**

**Very badly.**

As much as Draco denied it, he loved flowers.

He would often find himself out in the small garden behind the Malfoy Manor, running in between rows of several different colors. He admired their beauty, throwing fits whenever his mother would pick some for decoration, claiming she killed their beauty, or sulking away when his father would give him a disappointed look when he found him playing with the samplings of nature, but despite the disapproval he gained he would still observe and touch them fondly secretly.

Even when his parents would send him occasionally to a day care of other kids his own age, his father figured it would be best for him to start experiencing being with his "own kind", which was just purebloods, he would separate himself from the other children and linger near the different flower bushes that border-lined the small playground behind the school.

And that's where he was now, sitting away from the other young witches and wizards that played off in the distance, and he was examining the blossoming of a new shrub that had been placed there the week before.

It was a beautiful mixture of purple and white lilacs that were blossoming beautifully. Draco smiled softly when he caught site of a few light purple lilacs that had come from being interbred of purple and white. He carefully touched a young flower that hadn't just yet bloomed, knowing that when it did it would be the most beautiful of all. Quietly, he said encouraging words to it, using knowledge he learned from a children's herbology book that plants grew more beautifully when nice things were spoken to them.

One moment Draco was talking happily to a young flower, the next he saw the Golden Snitch whizzing around in front of him as he clumsily clutched the back of his throbbing head, dull shouts from behind him echoed from what seemed like hundreds of miles away.

Shaking his head slightly to try to regain his focus, Draco saw from the corner of his eye a brown tetherball that the kids used to kick around. He scowled angrily under his breath when he figured out he had been hit in the head with a stupid ball of leather and he turned around when he heard the sound of running footsteps from behind him, ready to threaten whoever it was that his father would be hearing about this but he froze.

A young boy, around his age, stood before him.

His skin was a few shades darker then Draco, he had large amount of messy dark brown hair that partially covered his eyes, and along with that, he had large dark brown eyes. Although he was still young, he didn't have as much visible baby fat as other kids did and had a sort of lanky form. He was an average child to everyone else but to Draco, who was still sitting there with his eyes frozen on the boy hovering over him, to Draco the boy was the definition of _perfection._

Or what was considered perfection to a six year old.

"Oi, are you alright?"

Draco blinked dumbly at the brunette before stuttering out a response,

"...Huh?"

A roll of eyes. "I asked if you were alright." The boy pointed to the tetherball near Draco, "You got hit in the head by that? Don't you remember?"

Draco forced himself to look away from the boy and he felt himself beginning to redden slightly, he rubbed the his throbbing head again and grunted in response to the boys questions, making the other raise an eyebrow.

"Can't you talk?"

Draco nodded his head.

"Then why aren't you talking?"

A pause followed by a shrug of the shoulders by Draco who was now beginning to shift uncomfortably in the presence of this boy. He didn't like the feeling he was experiencing. Not at all. It felt like hundreds of flitterbies were fluttering inside of him and they didn't stop.

_Go away, go away. _Draco chanted in his head, keeping his head lowered and his eyes glued to the ground.

As he kept staring firmly at the dirt, he slowly moved his eyes to look up at the boy but paused when he caught sight of the lilac bush. Draco couldn't help but let out a small gasp, his eyes widening slightly. One of the purple lilacs' stem was almost snapped clean off, being held on by only a few stubborn splinters. Cautiously, Draco reached out to it, trying to give it some sort of comfort but that's when he saw a small cut on one of his fingers, and realization hit him.

He had accidentally killed the flower. His hand must've hit it roughly when the ball whacked him in the head, he must've lurched forward and the stem must've snagged his finger when he pulled it back, breaking it in the process.

Quickly, he pulled his hand away, feeling ashamed and saddened that he had done damage to something so beautiful and pure.

Feeling depressed about the lilac, he had almost forgotten the boy that was still standing next to him and was surprised when he suddenly plopped down next to him, holding the ball in his lap as he dug into his pocket. Draco looked over to him curiously, silently blaming him for making him hurt the flower but he was also wondering what he was doing rummaging in his pocket when the boy pulled out a clenched fist.

A small piece of red ribbon in his dangling from his hand. Still confused but curious, Draco watched as he ripped it into two pieces and with much care, he leaned forward, gently wrapping a piece of ribbon around the broken flower in a sloppy tie, holding the flower together just barely.

The brunette sat back, admiring his work, and smiled, looking at Draco,

"There! It's all better now!"

Blinking at the smiling boy, Draco was about to tell him that the flower would still die either way but didn't get a chance to because the boy grabbed his hand suddenly, wrapping the other piece of the ribbon around the small cut on Draco's finger.

The boy let go of Draco's hand, who was blushing at the sudden contact, and grinned at him happily,

"Now you're all better too!"

Looking at the ribbon wrapped a little too tightly, Draco felt a smile form on his lips, the flitterbies in his stomach growing but instead of denying them he welcomed the fuzzy feeling they brought. It felt..nice.

He was about to thank him but was interrupted when the boy began telling Draco about himself. He didn't ask why Draco sat alone, he didn't ask why he didn't speak to him, he didn't even ask why Draco was busy playing with flowers.

He introduced himself as Theodore Nott, the name would forever stick into Draco's mind because in that moment, as Draco watched the pretty boy tell a story about how his father had gotten him a broom to begin Quidditch practice, Draco felt himself feeling normal. He felt himself smiling and talking with happiness he didn't know existed. He felt as if he finally found his purpose and placement in the world.

And that purpose, he would find out several years later, was experiencing his first love for another boy.

**The next few years would be the best ones Draco had as a child. Ever since he met Theodore, he found himself smiling more often then he usually did and speaking out much more often. Theodore would always include Draco in any activities they did at the witches and wizards daycare and even when Draco was forced to leave when he was eight, his father suddenly found the daycare 'being tainted by mudbloods', they continued to remain closer than ever.**

**As the years progressed, Draco grew to understand the 'flitterbies' he felt whenever he was around Theodore and came to terms with them when he was ten, over four years since he had met his companion. Although he was still young and naive, he knew what he felt for his best friend was something more than friendship.**

**But what Draco didn't know just yet was that homosexual tendicies were typically frowned upon in pureblood families, as they aim to keep their bloodline going with new heirs and it is obviously difficult to do that with couples of the same sex.**

**Draco Malfoy didn't know that he would make one of the worst mistakes of his life by confessing his affection for his best friend, Theodore Nott, to his father, Lucius Malfoy.**

What had he done wrong?

_"This is __blasphemy Narcissa! I will not permit it!__"_

_"Lucius, he is free to be intere-"_

Draco flinched when he heard the shatter of glass, followed by an angry but quiet whisper come from his father. He couldn't help but bite the inside of his cheek, his hands clutched his knees tightly as he sat on his bed.

What had he done wrong?

_Draco had been having dinner with his parents, something they did every night as every family, and his parents had somehow gotten onto the subject of arranged marriages. They were soon discussing suitable families that had daughters around Draco's age that would be available for him when he was much older. They had gone back and forth for a while over who the better suitor might be until Draco happily stated,_

_"I already know who I want to marry one day."_

_When he was met with silence, he continued on and said with a bright smile,_

_"I want to marry Theodore Nott."_

_Absolute silence was the response to Draco's happy statement, the air immediately felt awkward and full of tension and it seemed to stretched on for hours._

_Draco, who was happy and proud to have declared his crush, was surprised when he saw his father face twist into a frown, his lips pursed tightly together. His mother was darting her eyes back in forth, from her husband to her son to her husband again, her sitting position upright and alert._

_After another minute of silence, Lucius swallowed harshly and said in a stern, quiet voice,_

_"Draco, go to your room. I must talk to your mother," he glanced at his wife before looking back at his son, "..privately."_

_Draco stared at his father confused. Had he said something wrong?_

_"But...fath-"_

_"NOW."_

_Draco didn't need to be told twice after that, he knew how bad his father's fury could be and from the dark glow in his eyes, he had upset him very badly. Quickly excusing himself from the table, Draco hurried up into his room, feeling his father's gaze burning into his retreating back._

With a loud sigh that echoed in his large room, Draco continued to listen to his father screaming at his mother, along with the sound of many more things being broken and his mother's shaky voice trying to bring forward peace into the home again. Rolling over on his side, Draco clung a small pillow tightly to his chest as he stared silently out the window, a single thought remaining on his mind as he tried to tune out the yelling that was getting increasingly worse.

_"What did I do wrong?"_

The next morning, Draco was awakened by someone gently caressing his hair, smooth fingers running through his soft locks. He tensed at first but remembered that only his mother touched his hair and he relaxed again, letting out a sigh. His mother's quiet voice reached his ears, trying to lull him out of his drowsy state and he felt her hand slowly slip away from his hair, much to his disappointment.

"Draco, wake up my son.."

Blinking away the blurriness from sleep, Draco squinted and saw his mother gazing down at him. She smiled warmly at him but Draco felt something was wrong. It looked like she was forcing the smile as she seemed tensed, worry filled her eyes and he also saw that they seemed to be shinier than usual. He could tell his mother had been crying, or she was about to cry.

Slowly, Draco sat up, seeing that he had been changed into his sleepwear and placed under his covers. Rubbing his eyes, he looked at his mother, who was patiently waiting for him to be more awake. Yawning, Draco grumbled out,

"Morning mother.."

He was met with silence, and Draco saw his mother looking away from him, her head hanging low and he felt himself beginning to feel scared, his heart was thudding in his chest so loud he could hear it. Had his parents fight been that bad?

A minute passed of absolute silence, and Draco felt his gut beginning to twist, a strange feeling creeping up his spine,

"Mother?", he tried, the feeling beginning to worsen as the seconds went by, "What's happened?"

A sigh escaped from Narcissa's lips and she finally raised her head, looking at her son, her smile was gone and replaced with a sympathetic look.

"There's been...an accident."

Draco felt himself fully awake now, his thoughts racing. An accident? Who had gotten in an accident? Had his father done something stupid?

He tried to ask her what she meant but was thrown off guard when his mother suddenly pulled him close, hugging him tightly, and he heard her beginning to cry softly on his shoulder. Draco hugged his mother back, not understanding what was happening, when he heard his cracked mother's voice whispering softly,

"Theodore...", she paused, hugging Draco tighter. The mention of his crushes name caused Draco to freeze.

"Theodore has..been killed."

Draco felt his heart break.

The next few days were a complete blur. People dressed in all black as well as him, the sound of Theodore's mother weeping, his own mother silently weeping, the sound of a priest speaking, family, friends, strangers, and just like that, as suddenly as it began, it was all over. Draco found himself back in his room alone, still staring blankly, a tear still hadn't been shed since his mother had told him that his best friend had died.

Despite everything, the only thing Draco had remembered was a sinister smile that had formed on his own father's lips. Draco knew it was his father, he knew Theodore's death wasn't accident, and he knew that it was all his fault. It was his fault that his best friend and his first love had died. It was his fault for trying to make his own decision. It was his fault for being, what his father had stated, a faggot.

It was his own fault for not being born normal.

Slowly, Draco moved from where he was sitting on his bed and reached under it, pulling out a small box that he kept hidden, sitting down on the cold tiled floor.

He stared at it for a long time, and shakily, opened the box.

Inside was the piece of red ribbon that Theodore had wrapped around his finger when they had first met, Draco touched it ever so gently. Beside it was a purple lilac flower, long dead and dried, with the second piece of ribbon still tied horribly around the stem but still keeping the flower together after all these years.

With shaking hands, Draco touched the wrinkled flower carefully and he smoothed a finger over the still silky red ribbon, his throat was beginning to tightly and Draco felt a quiver in his lip.

Before he knew it, tears were streaming down pale cheeks.

Draco cried. Once the tears came, they didn't stop. He sobbed quietly to himself on the floor of his bedroom, holding the red ribbon tightly in his hand as he clutched the precious flower close to him. He remembered the meaning of the lilac, something he had learned last year and he remembered it was one of his happiest moments when he had discovered it.

Looking down at the still beautiful lilac, Draco whispered out the meaning of the flower to himself,

"P-Purple l-lilacs...symbolize the first emotions of love."

Draco bit his quivering lip, more tears threatening to spill over,

"And...I've just lost mine."

* * *

**Well, I honestly almost cried while typing this.**

**Anyway, the next chapters will be dedicated entirely to Draco's past. Everything will be explained as to why Draco did the things he did to Harry and a few other things as well. I'm not quite sure yet on how many chapters there will be, it all depends on how much into detail I want to go. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and sorry for my absence. Lemme me know what you think in the reviews. Ciao~**


	13. The Angel's Kiss (Part 2)

**Third Year**

_**Harry looked...beautiful.**_

_**All Draco could do was stare, his mouth gaping open slightly as he looked at the gorgeous Gryffindor before him, his heart was beating quickly and his throat suddenly felt dry. Swallowing hard, he continued to stare, everything bad about Harry disappeared from thought and he felt himself beginning to reach out for the boy, wanting to touch him.**_

_**Draco's heart jumped when his fingers made contact with the smooth sleeping face. Gently, he stroked Harry's jawline for a few seconds, getting lost in the moment, and Draco enjoyed it, just the two of them there alone in the Astronomy Tower. Before Draco could think of what he was doing or what his body was doing, he felt himself lean in and before he could stop it, a softness was pressed against his lips.**_

_**Draco ran, he ran away from the Astronomy Tower, not caring about the noise he was making nor about the chance of getting caught. He ran all the way back to the dungeons, nearly falling over several times and he breathlessly whispered the password to the portrait before fleeing inside and quietly going back to his room.**_

_**Crawling back into bed, Draco stared blankly at the wall. He felt his heart thudding against his chest, his fingers felt tingly where they had made contact with Harry, and his face felt hot and flushed. Rolling onto his back, Draco stared up at the ceiling, not believing what he had just done or saw but mostly, he didn't believe his actions. He glanced at his hand like he had been burned and the image of Harry sleeping came back to his mind, looking so peaceful and beautiful, it made him want to scream while his stomach did flip flops.**_

_**Draco softly touched his lips where they had, just minutes ago, been pressed up against the one he hated but he was surprised when he realized what he was doing.**_

_**He was smiling.**_

Draco couldn't sleep for the rest of that morning, not that he would have been able anyway due to his ridiculous insomnia, but the kiss between him and Harry was slowly beginning to plague his mind. The moment kept replaying over and over in his mind, the softness of his lips, his peaceful face as he slept, the way his heart thudded loudly... It was all leaving him flushed and even more confused than before. What especially bothered Draco was that he hadn't felt disgusted after kissing his rival,

Draco actually _liked _it.

A shiver went through Draco, his fingers brushing his lips gently, and he felt his face beginning to flush as blood rushed to his pale cheeks.

He also kept questioning himself, why had he done something like that? Was he attracted to him? Had he been attracted to him for some time and never realized it? What caused him to make a move on someone he hated? Did he actually hate Harry?

Draco frowned slightly at the thought of hating him.

_"No.. Now that I truly think about it, I don't think I ever truly hated him.. As much as I hate to admit this to myself, I had always admired him in some kind of way...", _Draco paused at this thought. Did his admiration for Harry turn into something deeper than that? If it had, when did it?

Draco groaned in irritation at this thought. He knew he was overthinking about the situation and it was beginning to give him a slight headache. Slowly, he rubbed his throbbing temple with his forefingers to try and ease the pain away before it could worsen. Why was it that whenever he thought about the scarred prat, a headache was always occurring afterward?

Absentmindedly, Draco fiddled with a large ring on his finger as he continued to think about his sudden feelings.

If he didn't actually hate him and had instead admired Harry all this time, then why was he just beginning to realize it now? How could of his affections been so obvious to him but so hidden at the same time? Could it of been clouded by the fear Draco had for his father's judgment?

Draco sat up, still fiddling with the ring on his finger while he stared blankly at the floor, his face scrunched up in thought.

His father clearly despised Harry for what he had done to the Dark Lord, Draco shivered slightly at the thought of him, and he never failed to let out a sneer or insult at the mention of Potter's name. Draco stopped thumbing over the ring on his finger and realized everything suddenly made sense.

His feelings were so hidden because he was brought up to hate Harry from the start, to despise him and to make him miserable. His father had encouraged him and persuaded him into believing that he was in the wrong, while they were in the right.

"_No,"_ Draco though, gripping the ring on his finger, _"he persuaded me into believing that we deserve to have the power with those who are pure and to resent those who aren't."_

Draco wasn't sure how he felt, now that realization had just dawned upon him. He began looking back at how he had treated others that didn't have a bloodline like his own, and he had a feeling in his stomach that made him want to twist in shame. Looking down at his hands, he saw his ring his father had given him the day he received his Hogwarts letter. He had told him it was a family heirloom, and it was meant to represent the proud and pure Malfoy family line that he belonged too.

Draco felt a red wave of anger as he looked at the ring, he didn't see anything to be proud of being attached to this family. All he had been surrounded with was hate, judgment and false superiority towards others.

There was nothing for him to be proud of, instead he felt disgusted. With his family and with himself.

Roughly, he yanked off the ring and was about to launch it across his dorm when he saw a red ribbon wrapped around his finger. It was the ribbon Theo had used to try and fix the lilac back when they were kids.

_Theo.._

Draco felt his anger mellow down at the thought of his first love as he stared at the worn out piece of fabric, and sadness began to fill in instead. He always got a little depressed when he thought his old friend.

Even though Theo was the first person he had ever gotten feelings for, he had also been Draco's first and closest friend. Of course, he had a few others fellow Slytherins he could somewhat call 'friends', Crabbe, Goyle, and Blaise, but he had never grown very close to them as he did Theo. Blaise came the closest but they still kept distance from each other at times, they knew they could go to the other for almost anything but that didn't mean they actually would. Despite their young age, Draco had always made Theo his main priority and he always made him feel safer and reassured that everything would be ok in the end.

He touched the fabric gently, his family ring forgotten, and focused on the smooth silkiness underneath his fingertips, bringing him comfort.

Draco sighed quietly and he shut his eyes, an image of the brown haired boy popping into his mind. He really did miss him at times when he needed someone the most. He always knew what to do, no matter the situation.

Opening his eyes again as the image faded away, Draco hesitantly slipped the ring back on to hide the ribbon, it being the only place he could keep it without fear of losing it. The ring felt heavy on his hand now, and as much as Draco hated having to wear it, he decided that instead to resent it, he would instead have it there as a reminder. It would remind him of what he had come from and the awful things he had done to others that were different then him.

_"But," _Draco clenched his hand tightly, _"it'll remind me of the person I need to be in order to win Harry over. I want to be someone better, not for me, but for him."_ A smile curved onto Draco's lips as he lifted his head up, his eyes full of determination he thought he didn't have, and with quick movements, Draco began getting dressed and ready for today's classes.

"_I can do this."_

Shoving the last of his books into his bag and quickly walking out in a prideful manner, even though he was going to against his bloodline he still wasn't going to run like a child, Draco headed out of the dungeons for breakfast.

Feeling more confident in himself as he came closer and closer to the Great Hall, he paused at the two magnificent doors that loomed over him and where hundreds of muffled voices sounded from behind them. Including Harry's.

Draco let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding and he reached to push open the doors, opening them just a crack when he felt his confidence falter slightly, and his nervous heart began to pound.

_"What if.. What if I can't win him over?" _His doubts whispered to him, _"What if he.."_

Draco caught sight of his ring again, and his doubts immediately washed away,

_"No. __He WILL be mine. __What a Malfoy wants, a Malfoy gets."_

He shoved open the doors,

_"I __**can **__do this."_

"How grand it must be.."

Draco bit the inside of his cheek as he tried to force himself to look away from the scene happening before him but his body was too rigid with anger to move. Normally, he would be smirking in this situation, or say some kind of snarky remark to make, but as of right now, Draco couldn't even bring himself to look at the Gryffindor that was glowering angrily up at the teacher that towered over him in a menacing manner.

"..to be the Chosen One."

Snickers from amongst the Slytherin students rose up after Snape, obviously satisfied with his taunts, as he sneered at the green eyed boy in front of him. His robes whipped behind him as he turned abruptly and continued on with the lesson, the sound of chalk scraping against the board as he scribbled down the steps they would be following for the next potion they would be creating that class. The Gryffindor side of the room were shifting around uncomfortably, some of them looking angry that their housemate was being treated badly while others were throwing glares at the chuckling snakes that taunted the tense lions, trying to get them even more riled up. Ron's anger was especially showing, his freckles nearly hidden by how red he was and was only getting redder when Pansy smirked mischievously and childishly stuck out her tongue at him, daring him to lash out.

Trying to ignore the tension growing between the two rivaling houses, Draco tried to focus on what Professor Snape was saying while trying to keep his emotions under control.

_"I can do this." _He thought as he dipped his the tip of his quill in ink before scribbling down notes, _"Don't ever reveal what you feel."_

He kept repeating that over and over to himself, but it was hard to concentrate when he could feel the burning gaze of his fellow housemates staring at him, waiting for him to make some kind of insult as a follow up to embarrass and humiliate Harry even more. It was something that was so common now that everyone seemed to be expecting some kind of insult to escape his lips, even Snape was shooting glances in Draco's direction.

_"Ignore them. Ignore them." _Draco as he once again tried to focus on the scribbling of his quill, jotting down whatever random shit the greasy haired teacher was saying.

Reaching to dip his quill again, a sharp jab to the right side of his ribs made him nearly spill his ink bottle as he jolted from the sudden contact that broke his concentration. Draco, now beginning to feel annoyed, looked up at Blaise, who was looking at him with an eyebrow raised and an expression that said "_Aren't you going to say something?_"

A quick glance around, he saw that nearly every Slytherin was glancing at him in some type of way, their bodies tense as they eyed him, all of their expressions stating clearly,

_"Humiliate him even more. It's what we live for. It's what YOU live for."_

Feeling the pressure of being in the spotlight, Draco couldn't help but feel extremely small under such intense gazes.

Before, this was something he used to love when it came to humiliating the dark haired boy. Making him squirm with his words, making him feel small and pathetic, making him angry with his mocking comments, and especially enjoying being in the spotlight but now, Draco couldn't even bring himself to glance in his direction.

Now he felt protective over the Gryffindor, wanting to hex his fellow housemates as they snickered behind his back and insulted him openly. Now, he wanted nothing more than to talk to Harry, as a civil human being, not as a rival.

Now, he wanted nothing more than to try and be his friend.

Draco also wanted to slam his head on his desk in frustration as he tried to bring himself to make an insult of some sort to humiliate Harry even further. He knew he would have to say something otherwise it would look too suspicious if he didn't. He felt the looks from other Slytherins, hell, even some Gryffindors were looking at him warily, waiting for him to say some sly remark.

Draco felt himself being torn into two different ways, to remain loyal to his house and push Harry even further from his reach, or to change his loyalty to Harry instead, and go against his own family and bloodline. But how could he possibly decide which to go for? Someone he cared about deeply or his own family?

But... if he were to change his loyalty to Harry, then there was the risk of him being put in danger from his father. And he would never want that.

Draco knew he couldn't allow history to repeat itself so with much effort, he settled down his quill to the side, curved his lips into his famous Malfoy smirk while his housemates looking at him approvingly. He was about to shout from across the room to Potter, trying to think of something witty to say when he caught sight of the ring on his hand and his own words echoed in his head.

"_I want to be someone better, not for me, but for him._"

Those words caused him to stop for a moment, and before he could try and say a remark, Snape's words filled the room.

"Now that I have finished going over the steps in order to create this potion," he paused momentarily, angrily looking at Neville and Dean who had been whispering to each other, who immediately shut up at his stare,

"..You have the remaining of the class to attempt to complete this assignment and will be paired up with a partner. At the end of the period you will turn it whatever it is you and your partner have made in order to get the full participation points for today's class, whether it was a success or.."

Snape glanced quickly at a red-faced Harry, who everyone knew was horrible at potions and he narrowed his eyes at him,

"..failure."

Although he was feeling bothered with Snape, Draco silently thanked him for interrupting him before he could insult Harry, relieved that he wasn't on the spotlight anymore. Although he could feel questioning looks from Blaise, who was eyeing him warily, he tried to hide his relief by slinking back into his seat with a slight frown on his nearly unreadable face.

Picking up his abandoned quill and quickly jotting down the ingredients that would be needed for the potion, Draco was about to turn to Blaise, who he had always partnered up with in the past, when Snape's voice rang out again,

"Pairings will be with the opposite house today I'm afraid."

Silent groans and whines emitted from the class that silenced themselves quickly when Snape glared at the whining students,

"Enough whining. All of you. Meet up with your partners."

When no one moved, Snape's eyes narrowed, his nostrils flaring in anger from his impatience.

"NOW!"

He barked out at the students, making them move quickly in fear they might make their professor even more upset, and he directed his eyesight to Harry afterwards,

"Mr. Potter, front of my desk, this instant!"

More groans of anger and resentment rang throughout the classroom as Snape turned his attention away from his students, both houses were slowly mingling together, both of them each hesitant and wary of the other. Draco stayed where he was as Blaise left their table, joining partners with Hermione, who looked at him with her lips pursed tightly together while she eyed him up and down, as if he would turn into a creature that would attack her.

Draco scowled as he turned back to his piece of parchment that had the ingredients written down on it, he stood to go to the stockroom to collect everything. He decided to go with whoever was left from the Gryffindor house, which was usually Neville, when Snape came up to him, a reluctant Harry glaring daggers at Snape's back as he lingered behind him, arms crossed angrily over his chest.

Draco felt his stomach twist as he looked from Snape to Harry, then to Snape again. He could tell from the angry expression from the boy behind Snape and, with a quick glance around the room, there was no Gryffindors left that didn't have a partner, that things weren't going to go so smoothly this class period as he had planned

"As you know, Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Potter here doesn't provide the most..." Snape paused, as if trying to find the largest word he could think of to insult Harry with,

"..satisfactory results." Draco forced a snort of amusement, looking smugly at Harry who gave him a livid expression. His throat immediately tightened up when they made eye contact so he quickly looked back at Snape to keep himself from blushing.

"I have decided that in order to keep Mr. Potter from failing my class, you, Mr. Malfoy, will be helping him from now on until his marks start to rise."

Draco had to bite his tongue hard in order to keep himself from smiling like an idiot. Although he felt incredibly nervous and shaky, he was thrilled to be lucky enough to have a chance to work with Harry. He could slowly begin to form a relationship with him and show him the person he truly wanted to be and maybe, just maybe, things could go the way he wanted them to. The thought made him want to jump in excitement but instead he kept himself controlled and instead forced a frown upon his face.

"Professor, sir, you must be joking, I would never-", he started but before he could finish, Snape interrupted him,

"If he fails to pass his courses Mr. Malfoy...then you will also fail as well." He leaned closer to Draco, "And your father wouldn't be very...happy about that, would he?"

Draco felt his shoulders slump slightly in defeat, but he kept his eyes level with Snape and he said calmly, as if unfazed by his threat,

"...Understood Professor."

Snape walked away without another word to either of them, leaving the two of them in an awkward silence. The silence went on for a full minute, neither of them making any type of movement and neither of them looking at each other in the eye.

Draco knew that if he wanted to improve himself for Harry, he would have to have more confidence in himself so he spoke up first and handed him the parchment with the ingredients listed on it,

"Here Potter," He said as calmly as he could without letting Harry hear how shaky his voice was, "Collect the ingredients from the stockroom while I collect the tools we will be needing."

Green eyes looked at parchment as if it was a snake and Draco thought for a moment he would refuse to take it from him, but to his surprise, Harry warily reached for it, snatching it from Draco's hand.

"You know Potter, it's very rude to grab things from people." Draco said, trying to sound friendly by lightly teasing him. But the glare on Harry's face showed he didn't take it in a friendly way and he immediately shot back at him,

"Shut up Smellfoy."

Before angrily storming to the stock room where students were already gathering their supplies, the piece of paper scrunched up tightly in his hand.

Draco brushed off the insult and bit his witty tongue before it would betray him and say something he would regret later.

_"Such a nasty temper he has." _He commented to himself before turning away.

Rolling up his sleeves to make sure they wouldn't get ruined by the potion, he began pulling out the items they would need and let out a low sigh, feeling tired already but also excited at the same time. He was getting the chance to work with him, to talk to him, and he would be damned if he was going to let that opportunity slip away from his grasp.

He saw Harry from the corner of his eye, approaching the desk with ingredients in hand, and he let out a small breath and reminded himself to be extra patient.

_"This is for him.. This is for Harry. Do it for Harry."_

"Potter, for the love of Merlin, I said GRIND the fluxweed! Not chop-"

"But it says to chop-!"

"THAT'S FOR THE DRAGON'S LIVER POTTER!"

Draco snapped in frustration as Harry rolled his eyes at him, clenching his jaw as he grabbed a pestle and mortar and angrily began grinding the fluxweed in silence.

Draco let out a sigh as he watched before turning back to Snape's instructions. He could feel everyone in the class gazing at them, in the last half hour they had managed to shout or scream at each other at least a dozen times over the smallest things. This was NOT how he wanted their first working period to go.

_"This is so fucking bad." _Draco thought as he rubbed his aching temple, he could already feel a headache coming along and it was making it very difficult to focus, Harry's attitude was also not helping.

But nevertheless, Draco forced himself to try and understand the directions needed in order to complete the potion, although he understood he had one sided feelings for the idiotic boy next to him, that didn't mean he was going to let either of them fail.

He shuddered at the thought of what his father would do if he were to fail a class. He also frowned slightly as he remembered the backhand to the head he got when his father had discovered the Granger girl managed to succeed in achieving higher grades than he had. Absentmindedly, he rubbed the back of his head as he scowled slightly at the painful memory.

"MALFOY."

Draco jerked slightly, breaking from his chain of thought as he looked over at Potter, who was holding out the now grinded fluxweed, a look of annoyance on his face.

Grabbing the smashed plant from him without a word, Draco began adding small pinches as he stirred the brownish liquid counterclockwise, making sure to do the appropriate amount of turns.

Silence fell between the two boys as the liquid slowly began turning from brown to dark green. If Draco wasn't so controlled over his emotions, he might be blushing due to the fact that Harry was watching him intently. Trying to ignore his stares, he looked over at the next step, avoiding Harry's gaze.

"Chop the liver now Potter, I have to add it after stirring it for another few minutes and," he looked at the instructions again, "if we've be doing everything accordingly, then it should bubble for a few moments before turning a lighter shade of green."

Harry, doing as he was told, started chopping the liver bits, grimacing slightly at the awful smell they produced. Even Draco scrunched up his nose in disgust at the putrid smell and he shifted away slightly as he re-read the instructions. He glanced over to Harry after a minute to see how well he was doing and he frowned.

"Potter, cut the strips a little thinner, you're cutting them way too large-"

"Would you like to do it then?" Harry snapped at him, without looking up but pausing mid-cut.

"As a matter of fact, I would, seeing as you can't follow the directions properly." Draco shot back at him in a defensive tone, narrowing his eyes and feeling slightly hurt at being snapped at. Draco could handle a number of things but being yelled at was something he didn't like, especially being yelled at by someone he had feelings for.

Grabbing the cutting knife and liver roughly from the boy next to him, and feeling highly annoyed, Draco began cutting it himself as Harry sat back and watched, his head resting on the table as he continued to stare. Another awkward silence fell between the two and Draco felt the urge to say something to him, but he was beginning to feel very nervous, especially with Harry watching him so intently. He pondered over the thought of just staying quiet but he knew he had to start somewhere so he forced himself to speak,

"So..why are you so horrible at potions Potter?"

As soon as the words left Draco's mouth, he wanted to slap himself.

"..Why are you so horrible at the Dark Arts?"

Those words stung Draco, and he felt his confidence take a huge blow. He had been the only one in Lupin's class to refuse to go against the boggart, causing him to have to attend after classes for boggart lessons to make up his grade. The reason why he had refused though was because he already knew what his deepest fear was, and he didn't want anyone to know what he had feared. The only person who knew was Lupin, whom he had entrusted with his secret as much as he disliked it.

Draco stared at Harry blankly for a moment, not knowing how to respond so he chose not to at all, his shaky confidence having crumbled and he instead turned his focus back to making the potion. He could feel green eyes watching him again and this time, he chose to ignore it and did his best to hide his hurt by forcing an emotionless expression upon his face.

_"Stupid prat." _He thought bitterly to himself and he chopped the liver angrily, and without checking how much longer the potion needed to settle for, he threw in the thin pieces of liver a little too soon, causing the potion to turn a more green-yellow color instead of light green.

Draco frowned as he watched the changing colors, feeling stupid for letting his emotions distract him, and he watched the potion begin to bubble slightly.

"Malfoy, I think you did it wrong." Harry mumbled quietly as he glanced over into the cauldron, a frown on his face as the potion began turning more towards the color yellow, the green colors growing fainter and fainter. Draco quickly read through the instructions again, trying to see if there was anything he could do to fix the potion.

"Malfoy, it's not even the slightest shade of green-"

"I KNOW. I'm trying to fix-"

"How can you possibly fix it at this point?!"

Draco felt his calm demeanor break and he slammed down his notes in anger, glared at Harry, and said through gritted teeth,

"Will. You. Shut. Up. I am TRYING to figure out a way to fix it and your annoying voice is NOT helping."

Before Harry could recover and retaliate Draco's sudden outburst, a low voice came from behind the two boys, making them freeze,

"..It seems to me that," Snape said slowly, as he glowered down at both of his students, the whole class quieting down as they watched, "...Mr. Potter here has ruined this potion by adding..the dragons liver a little too..early."

Almost immediately, Harry opened his mouth in order to defend himself, when instead, Draco spoke up before he could.

"It was me Professor, I added the liver too early. Potter wasn't cutting the liver properly so I did it myself instead. I wasn't paying close attention to the time and added them in before the potion had settled long enough."

He hesitated for a moment but continued on,

"It wasn't his fault, it was mine."

Draco knew he was putting so much at risk by defending him, but he had told himself he would change his ways, and he knew it was the only way to show he was different then what Harry thought of him. He could feel Snape examining him with his intense gaze, and he could also feel everyone's gaze on him as the class stayed silent. But he did his best to ignore them, especially the shocked Gryffindor that sat beside him.

After what seemed like a lifetime, Snape finally spoke, breaking the thick silence.

"...Well...it seems I have been...mistaken." Snape growled out the last word, his voice sounding as if he was blaming Draco for taking away his opportunity to scold Harry. More whispers emitted from around the room. Before he stalked away Snape stared at Draco quietly for a moment, before adding,

"I expected more from you Mr. Malfoy. Certainly your father will be as disappointed as I am."

Giving Harry one more glare, Snape whipped head back to the students that were still staring, causing them to jump. He began shouting out orders at them as he walked around the room, glaring into the cauldrons to see if the potion met up to his expectations before shouting class was dismissed and telling the students to bring their vials filled with their potion, successful or not.

Pushing Snape's comment away from his mind and trying to keep himself from showing how grim he felt, Draco quickly bottled up a small vial of the failed potion before he shoved towards Harry, who was staring at him with surprise still on his face.

"Take that to Snape's desk." He said in a hollow voice as he began packing up his things and cleaning up the mess with a few motions of his wand.

"Malfoy...why did you-" The Gryffindor began, confusion and surprise evident in his voice, but Draco didn't want to hear it.

"Forget it Potter. Just fucking drop it."

With that being said, Draco threw his bag over his shoulder and left the classroom, hoping to avoid any type of confrontation, and he hurried back down to the dungeons.

He got there in record time with his fast pace, luckily his quick leave helped him to avoid the mass of students that would be heading to get dinner. Going straight to the boys dormitory, Draco entered his room, tossed his bag aside and threw himself onto his bed, hiding his face in his pillow before a large, muffled sigh escaped from his lips.

Rolling onto his back since he was beginning to suffocate being face down in a pillow, Draco stared blankly at the ceiling, his hands folded over his chest as the events from day ran through his mind over and over, his mind buzzing as hundreds of thoughts went through his head.

There was a heavy weight in the middle of his chest and Draco sighed again, his first experience with Harry was definitely not something that he wanted to remember or even think about again because of how horrible everything had gone, but he knew his actions got into Harry's head and he'd be back to find out what he was up to.

The thought made Draco feel a little better and he realized that maybe he hadn't blown it just yet. Maybe.

He glanced at the ring on his finger again before clenching his hand and putting it over his heart. All his worries about his father and what the other students had thought vanished from his mind, the only thought Draco had was the promise he made to himself.

_"Do it for him. Do it for Harry."_

_"I can do this."_

* * *

**The need to change this chapter was too strong and I did not at all like how I originally wrote it.**


	14. The Cursed Befriending (Part 3)

_**"I can do this."**_

Ever since the incident in potions class, Draco had been avoiding everyone as much as he possibly could. Especially from the nosy people that tried to question his strange behavior, and especially Harry, who apparently was trying to find him but Draco knew he was only so concerned with finding out the truth because Harry was worried he was up to something no good. It hurt him a little that Harry only came around when he thought he was up to something. He had heard from others that Harry was one of the most forgiving people and tried to find some kind of good in others, but it seemed Draco was one of the few that didn't make the cut.

Nevertheless, he had expected these type of things to happen from Hogwarts' gossipers. Anything that had to do with Harry and himself was usually spread around like wildfire in a matter of hours, but Draco didn't want to be bothered or pestered by anyone, he just wanted to be left alone. He normally would've basked under all the attention he was receiving but now he didn't want anything to do with it, which he knew was probably causing more rumors. Snape had also informed his father of the little mishap and it didn't improve his mood when he had to read the long letter he had sent that was basically telling him to not be a failure nor a disappointment and he should live up to the Malfoy name.

On the upside though, it was the weekend so he had time away from his classmates for a couple of days but his housemates weren't making it any easier for him. If anything they were even more annoying and more persistent, but then again what Slytherin wasn't when they wanted to know the truth? Draco could at least handle his housemates more easily though, since he knew how to respond to them unlike the other houses. He typically brushed off their questions by ignoring them or gave one worded answers until they left him alone, which wasn't very easy but he was much more stubborn then they were.

The only person though that wasn't letting up though was none other then his closest friend, Blaise, and that's how Draco was spending his last evening of freedom before he had to face his classmates and Harry, arguing with him at midnight in his room with the door locked and a silence charm on it.

"I just don't understand why you can't tell me the truth Drake, I mean we are good friends after all aren't we?" Blaise said calmly, showing no sign of giving up anytime soon, "And stop lying to me that you weren't feeling yourself or something stupid like that, I know you Drake, I know how you are around Potter and that was NOT you the other day. So, you need to tell me what's going on-"

"For the love of Merlin Blaise, WILL YOU SHUT UP." Draco groaned out tiredly, he was laying face down on his bed with a pillow over his head, an attempt to try and tune Blaise out so he could get some sleep. Then, lifted his head slightly, Draco gave Blaise the dirtiest look he could manage and growled out,

"It's nearly fucking midnight, can't you just _leave me alone to sleep._"

There was a pause for a moment between the two and Draco thought he finally won the argument but then he saw a sly smile on Blaise's face which caused him to sigh and flop his head back down onto his bed.

"No. I'm not leaving until you tell me."

Draco didn't respond and continued to lay there in silence. He didn't move or say anything else until he felt his bed shift beside him. Lifting his head up again, he looked up at Blaise, who was now sitting beside him and looking down at the patterned carpet with a frown on his face instead of his sly smile from earlier.

"Draco," Blaise said in a low tone which made Draco wince. First, Blaise never used his real name when it was just the two of them. Second, he was only serious like this around everyone else and hid his laid-back non-caring side,

"I know that there is something wrong with you, so please," Blaise looked down at Draco with a somewhat pleading look on his face, "tell me so that I can help you."

Draco stared at his friend for what seemed like hours, his mind was racing with excitement and nervousness at being able to share his secret, to be able to get feedback from someone and possibly even help to win Harry over. But he also remembered how Blaise felt about half-bloods, how much he despised the Weasleys for being 'blood-traitors' and he knew he might never understand from Draco's point of view. But Draco knew he had to get him off his back, so, he lied

"Alright look," Draco started, sitting up on his bed, "My father... My father told me that he feels I need to focus more on my studies, you know how he feels about that Granger Girl being the top of our year, and I've been trying to avoid meaningless arguments and such to focus on my main priorities.."

"Bothering Potter has always been one of your main priorities last time I checked, Drake," Blaise said in slightly amused tone before continuing, "but that still doesn't explain why you, of all people, would defend Potter from the Professor! You know that he would've given you full credit for your work and failed him instead, I just don't understand why and neither does anyone else."

"I told you already! Snape told me if Potter failed, I would fail with him!" Draco argued back in a defensive tone. He stood up from the bed, feeling heat rise in his cheeks as his anger flared and he stared at the wall for a few seconds to compose himself. "_Calm down," _he told himself, "_getting angry is un-Malfoy like."_

Inhaling and exhaling deeply a few times, he turned back to face Blaise and jumped slightly when the boy was standing right in front of him, staring at him intently,

"Uh..?"

Blaise moved closer, invading Draco's space, much to his displeasure, leaving only a few inches inbetween them. Draco narrowed his eyes at his slightly taller friend but refused to be intimidated so he stared back, making sure not to blink and keeping his composure. A tense silenced ensued, and their eye contact didn't break, it felt as if neither one of them was breathing. Blaise's eyes suddenly widened and he took a step back, leaving Draco slightly confused.

"..Blaise, what was-"

"You fancy him..don't you?"

Draco felt a shiver of fear slither across his whole body as he froze in place, he felt his heart begin to thud heavily against his chest. He had his mouth open but no words were coming out as his brain frantically tried to think of something to say,

"I.." Draco said weakly, taking a hesitant step back. He avoided Blaise's intense gaze and stared at the floor, "I don't fancy him-"

"Yes. You do." Blaise said in a more stern tone, one Draco hadn't heard before, "It's.. It's all over you face Drake." Blaise said with a slight wave of his hand, "It's true isn't it?"

Draco didn't respond at first and continued to stare at the floor in silence, he could see his hands shaking. He knew he had been found out, Blaise knew him better then anyone. It's not like it would take a genius to put everything together. And Slytherin's were good at reading people's emotions while maintaining in control of their own. Except Draco failed, he could feel Blaise reading him as the tension rose up in the room. Now all he could do was to explain himself and hope none of these secrets would escape this room.

Not wanting to see Blaise's reaction, he hung his head lower in an attempt to hide his face as much as he could with his long bangs and mumbled out, "..Yes."

_"It's over. This is all my fault." _He blamed himself, the thudding in his chest becoming more and more painful with every heartbeat, "_Harry is going to be killed, because of me."_

Tight arms wrapped around him suddenly and Draco found himself squashed against a bigger body, his face uncomfortably squished into Blaise's somewhat bony shoulder. He blinked a few times in confusion, caught off-guard and unsure of what to do. In the few years of knowing Blaise, he had _never _seen him willingly touch anyone else or let someone touch him. And he hadn't expected this type of reaction, he expected homophobic slurs and a good punch to the face.

Hesitantly, Draco hugged him back awkwardly. The hug lasted a few seconds before Blaise pulled away, leaving his hands on Draco's shoulders and he looked at him.

"Drake," he started, "I understand why you wouldn't want to say anything to any of us, especially how we were brought up in our families and our blood status, but in all honesty, I don't care about what your sexuality is or who you want to be with. Including that prat Potter."

Draco immediately opened his mouth to defend Harry but Blaise cut him off before he got the chance,

"I will support you no matter what you decide to do with your life. I consider you to my best friend and you can always come to me with any troubles. But you have to also remember," Blaise frowned slightly, "not everyone is going to understand your life choices and you need to be prepared for that. Especially with our backgrounds, you already know how gays are viewed in our families and even in our own house. Are you going to take that risk to be with him?"

Draco didn't even hesitate to respond to that question.

"Y-Yes, I am."

Blaise eyed him over for a moment, and smiled, he seemed to be amused by Draco's eagerness, "You have it bad for him don't you?"

Draco felt himself blush at the question, before shoving Blaise and his shit eating grin away from him,

"Shut up." He mumbled, tugging at his shirt slightly. The room suddenly felt warmer.

"And also.. Thank you.." Draco said sheepishly, he felt awkward saying that since he had never really thanked anyone before. Blaise responded with a shrug and a smile that said what he couldn't, Draco could tell he felt awkward too. Neither of the boys were really brought up to handle these type of sentimental situations and neither knew how to handle it, so Draco broke the silence by asking,

"Uhm, A-Anyway, how did you come up with that conclusion anyway?"

Blaise gave him a smug smirk and messed up Draco's hair, which he knew he hated. He jumped away from Draco's angry swinging fist and chuckled slightly.

"Honestly, I don't know how I hadn't realized it before.. Your eyes seem..lighter than usual whenever someone mentions him.." His tone was soft and quiet, leaving another short silence between the two and a blushing again Draco,

"Now!"

Blaise said abruptly before things got awkward again Draco, he flopped back down onto the bed, "Why'd you decide on the biggest Gryffindork this school has ever had? Was it his messy black locks?" Blaise ran a hand through his non-existent hair, "Or was it those ghastly swamp green eyes of his-..Why do you have you wand?"

Draco was twiddling his wand in his hands, his flustered side replaced by an aura of intimidation, "You know Blaise, I've been practicing a new hex to use on the first years," he started before grinning at Blaise in a malicious way as he pointed it at him,

"I think I'll test it out on you."

The night ended with an angry blonde shouting hexes while his friend shouted apologies before running for his life to his own room where sanctuary was. Even though this wasn't what Draco had expected, he couldn't hide the smile on his face nor the huge relief he felt. He finally had someone on his side that had accepted him for who he was, something he never had before. Draco could also feel something he hadn't felt in a very long time.

Hope.

* * *

Before Draco knew it, the school day had gone by quickly and he was now walking with Blaise down to potions class. Draco was still feeling hesitant and nervous so he couldn't help but drag his feet a little down the winding halls. He and Blaise hadn't said anything to one another yet aside from a simple hello. Draco was beginning to think he had changed his mind about things from last night but he soon figured out he was keeping quiet because there was still students surrounding him. The last thing Draco wanted was anyone, especially his own house, to hear about his sexual orientation.

When the last few Gryffindors slunk past the two, keeping a watchful eye on them both, Blaise finally turned to Draco.

"So...How are you feeling?" His voice came out in a hushed whisper. "Any idea on how you're going to make your move? Last class didn't end well with-"

Blaise stopped when a few more students rushed passed them before continuing on,

"..with you-know-who.."

"Last I checked Blaise, I was in love with Scaredhead, not the Dark Lord." Draco said with a slight chuckle, ignoring Blaise's annoyed look.

"You know what I meant, don't be an arse."

Choosing to ignore his insult, Draco sighed out,

"I think I'd rather spend a spend a night with Filch then with him.. And I don't have a plan for what I'm going to do.." Draco felt his stomach twist when they made the last turn that would take them to Snape's room.

"That bad huh?" Blaise mumbled back, "Well if you need a cauldron at least there'll be some at your disposal."

"Very funny." Draco said as he rolled his eyes, falling back into silence.

Blaise sensed his discourage and quickly tried to perk him up,

"Look Drake," he started, "If you want to catch the snitch-"

"Really Blaise? A code name? Didn't realize this was a slumber party-"

"IF YOU WANT," Blaise said in a louder tone that made Draco shut up, "..to catch the snitch you have to think of every outcome to your actions and,"

Blaise pulled a galleon from his pocket and with Draco watching, he flipped it into the open air and caught it,

"..choose the best one that will help you win the game."

Blaise smiled at Draco, who looked unimpressed and raised a questioning eyebrow,

"It would've been hilarious if you didn't catch that you know."

"What can I say, I have excellent hands." Blaise stated with a wink, making Draco roll his eyes for the second time that morning. "But seriously Drake, I have hope for you and the snitch, but you have got to seriously have hope in yourself."

"Yes, I know," Draco sighed again but smiled slightly, " I know."

"Good!" Blaise slapped him on the back and grinned when Draco almost stumbled forward from the force. He wasn't phased by the death glare he was receiving and the two stopped at the huge door that lead to the potions room. Draco felt his stomach twist again and fear creeping up from within him, but he forced it down and tried to relax.

"You ready?" Blaise asked.

Draco gazed up at the door, feeling both nervous and excited at what was behind it. It felt good and bad at the same time. Taking a breath, he nodded.

"Yes, I think so."

With no more hesitation, the two entered the stuffy room. Most of the class was already there and Draco immediately felt dozens of eyes on him. It made his skin crawl and he wanted to leave but Blaise was already walking to their shared table so he followed after him, avoiding eye contact. Settling down into his chair, he took out a piece of parchment, his potions book, his ink bottle and lastly his feather. Trying to ignore his surroundings and the talking between the classmates in the room, he focused on writing down the instructions on the board for the new potion they would be brewing.

Blaise was doing the same and he said as quietly as he could,

"The snitch keeps staring your way Drake."

Draco paused for a moment, tempted to catch Harry's eyes but he forced himself to only look at the board, murmuring back to the boy beside him.

"Is he now?"

"Yeah, all three of them are actually.."

"Probably forming a plan to kidnap me and interrogate me after class." Draco said sarcastically and bitterly, still hurt over the fact that he hadn't been someone Harry could bring himself to forgive. "Wonder how they plan to do it.." He mumbled out in a huff as he finished scribbling down everything on the board. Blaise said nothing but gave him a sympathetic look before continuing his writing.

Draco leaned back in his seat, arms crossed over his chest and keeping himself as relaxed as he could. He continued to ignore the gazes on him and after what felt like a lifetime, Snape finally marched into the room silently and briskly, making the class fall into a silence. He re-read the instructions on the board, they would be making the Pepperup Potion and told them the class would be the same as last week, partners with opposite houses.

Draco watched everyone move to different seats and he gave Blaise a worried and panicked look as he stood to leave. He was feeling more nervous then ever and made it clear with the look he gave Blaise. Blaise smiled slightly and mouthed,

_"Catch the snitch."_

Draco watched him join Granger again and he saw Harry making his way to the desk. He didn't seem as eager either to work with Draco again, he could see Harry dragging his feet slightly. Draco couldn't help but flinch slightly when Harry roughly dropped his bag and utensils on the desk, he pretended to be studying a potions book in order to avoid making eye contact. But before Harry could sit down, Draco handed him the piece of parchment he had written on, trying not to shake,

"Here," He said, still not looking up at him, "There aren't too many ingredients this time, we just need a bicorn horn and some mandrake roots. I'll get the cauldron and stirring rods and such again."

When he didn't take the parchment, Draco glanced over at him. Harry's eyebrows were narrowed slightly, his hair was messy as it always had was and he seemed to be staring at him intently. Draco felt uneasy at his intense staring but since he was not one to stand down from an eye staring contest, he stared back.

Harry raised an eyebrow at his response, causing Draco to feel even more uncomfortable. Draco felt as if his privacy was being invaded by those gorgeous eyes and he felt himself becoming more and more vulnerable. He didn't like how Harry was causing him to feel so he nodded his head to the parchment, still refusing to break eye contact.

"Are you going to take it or not Potter? My arm is getting tired." He stated, almost in a defensive tone.

Harry glanced at it and took the parchment with no complaints, giving Draco one last look. Draco blinked a few times as he watched him leave to the stockroom where it was already swarming with other students trying to get the best ingredients. His heart was thudding heavily against his chest as he forced himself to look away from Harry, not wanting to draw attention to himself but he couldn't help but feel confused at Harry's behavior. It was out of the ordinary to him but then again, Draco didn't really know much about Harry in the first place. Deciding to ponder about it later, Draco went to where the cauldrons were, after all the potion wouldn't make itself and he had a grade and reputation to maintain.

"Win the game." He mumbled under his breath as he carried all the items back to the desk, where Harry was waiting patiently for him to get started.

Setting down the items on the table, Draco took his seat, rolled up his sleeves and looking at the parchment with the instructions on it just to make sure they had everything. He could feel Harry eyeing him again and so he said without looking away from the paper,

"Can't get enough of me today, eh, Potter?" He looked at him and added on, "See something you like?"

Harry sat up and leaned back on his chair, turning away from him, embarrassed he had been caught and grunted out,

"As if."

Draco bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smiling and pushed away the urge to embarrass him further so instead he began looking over the instructions to the potion.

"Alright, it says we need to set the heat to medium and allow the water to boil for about fifteen minutes before we start adding in the ingredients." Draco explained, "In the meantime while we wait, I'll start cutting the mandrakes roots while you crush the bicorn horn. It's form needs to be similar to powder or as close as it can be. If it's too chunky it can-.." Draco stopped, making sure he wrote that down properly.

"It can what?" Harry asked, leaning over to look at the paper. Draco almost shivered when he felt Harry's hot breath on his neck and he nearly dropped the paper.

"...i-it can explode." Draco finished.

"...wonderful." Harry said sarcastically as he moved away again, much to Draco's disapproval. He started crushing the thick horns, careful not to hurt his fingers.

"Blasted teacher wants to murder us.." Draco mumbled to himself quietly as he looked over the parchment again. He looked over at Harry, whom was already struggling, and shook his head,

"No no, not like that Potter, that's the hard way." Draco took the mortar and pestle away from him, "Don't try to immediately smash it in the middle, move the pestle in a circular motion around the tip of the horn, like this," he demonstrated it for a moment, "See? It's already starting to fall apart. Bicorn horn's form are tough at the center and end."

Draco handed the mortar and pestle back to him, "The tip is the more fragile part and is easier to break down. So start from there."

Harry didn't respond for a few moments and instead gave him a weird look of confusion.

"Why are you being so...nice?"

Harry didn't seem to be very sure of his choice of wording but how could Draco blame him. Him and nice in the same sentence? It was almost unheard of. Draco didn't show his surprise to the question but turned his attention to cutting the roots in front of him,

"I'm not being nice, I'm being _civil_, and I also don't want to fail like we did before." Draco stated simply as he continued to chop.

"Speaking of last time, why did you take the fault?" Harry asked, ignoring everything else said, "Snape said your father wouldn't be happy, so why did-"

Draco almost sliced his finger at the mention of his father and he said interrupted him quickly, "What Snape said doesn't matter, and I did it because.." Draco stopped talking, feeling frustrated he couldn't say what he truly wanted to. He shook off the question and kept working.

"Because you're..?" Harry edged on after silence fell between them. There was curiosity in his eyes but Draco knew he only cared because he thought he was up to no good. Well he didn't know if that was for sure, but why else would Harry be so interested in learning his person life all of a sudden.

"Doesn't matter." He mumbled out, "Let's just get started on this potion Potter. Were beginning to fall behind." Draco looked at the other students who were already brewing.

"That doesn't answer-"

"I don't want to fail Potter and I know you probably don't either," Draco said sharply as he turned to look at him, he also wanted to move away from the subject about his father. "So if we want to get this done we need to set aside our grudges for one another and actually focus on working together."

Harry stared at him with observant green eyes before sighing in defeat. He may be stubborn but Draco was more stubborn then he could ever be. After all, what a Malfoy wants a Malfoy gets.

"..For once I actually might agree with you on something Malfoy."

"Of course you would, I am brilliant after all."

"But still second in our year."

"Better to be second then dead last like yourself."

"Shut up Malfoy."

"Oh how you woo me with your words."

"Careful now, Potter." Draco said lowly, the class was almost over and everyone else had finished their potions besides Draco and Harry. "Add in two more pinches from the horn and stir it once more. It should turn a lighter shade." Their potion was nearly done but Draco had insisted they take their time with it because he wanted Harry to actually learn what to do; he also secretly wanted to spend more time with him.

Draco watched an obviously nervous Harry sprinkle in the grayish looking powder before stirring the potion clock-wise one more time. Taking the rod out and setting it aside, he moved to the side to make room for Draco to check if it was up to standards. Peering cautiously into the cauldron, Draco saw it beginning to simmer down and turn into a lighter shade of red, almost pink.

"Looks good enough," he stated after watching it for a minute, he didn't miss the gleam of pride on Harry's face and he almost smiled but kept his composure. Even though it was just the two of them and Snape, who was grading the other potions, he didn't want to take any chances.

"Now the last thing to do is-"

"The counter-curse for the bogies curse." Harry interrupted, still looking very proud that the potion was correct so far, "Right?"

"Yes, do you know how to do it?" Draco asked, feeling a little impressed he had learned so quickly. He felt a flutter in his chest at his intelligence and eagerness to learn more.

"Honestly, I don't," Harry admitted with a shrug, "Remembering spells is more of Hermione's thing. I always forget a majority of what she tells me. Finish it off, I've done most of the work anyway." There was a bit of irritation in his voice when he said that.

"Well, how do you expect to get better at potions if you don't learn to do it yourself Potter?" Draco asked as he pulled his wand from his pocket. "Practice makes perfection after all."

"You're starting to sound like Hermione." Harry said as he sat back down in his seat.

"Lovely, I'm beginning to talk like a mud-"

Draco stopped abruptly, stopping himself before he could finish that sentence. He saw Harry's immediate change of expression and quickly cleared his throat, making motions with his wand to complete the potion, "..Anyway, it's done. Snape should be satisfied with it."

"We shall see Mr. Malfoy." Snape's voice said from behind them, making them both stiffen. He leaned forward to peer into the potion, causing Draco to lean back as he wrinkled his nose at the strange smell that emitted from his professor. Snape narrowed his eyes slightly as he scanned the potion for a few minutes. When he found nothing he could complain about he said through gritted teeth. "Good work."

With a whip of his cloak, the two boys watched Snape stomp back to his desk in an angry manner.

"..I'll turn the potions in today since you did it last time. Good job Potter, there may be hope for you after all." Draco said in a teasing tone, hoping to ease the tension. To his disappointment, Harry didn't respond and he left without so much as a glance.

Draco felt a heavy weight of guilt in his stomach and he felt a strong urge to go after him. He knew he had gone too far by almost saying that and he also knew he had to make this right. Harry needed to see that he was trying to be better. He didn't need to know Draco was trying to be better for him but he needed to know he was trying. But Draco hesitated, and frantically went through the different scenarios in his mind, and if this would be the right choice.

_"Think over every outcome of your actions."_

Making his decision, Draco quickly filled the vials of the potion and put them on Snape's desk. He walked out of the classroom, after all a Malfoy never runs, but as soon as he closed the heavy potions door behind him, he ran anyway. He ignored Blaise, who was waiting for him and had shouted out to him as he dashed by. He quickly went after Harry who wasn't too far ahead.

"Potter!"

He was ignored, which made him annoyed.

"Oi, Potter!"

Still silence.

"I know you can hear me dammit!"

Harry turned, looking at him angrily but he had stopped walking. Draco stopped running and walked up to him, his hair slightly out of place and his cheeks tinted a light shade of pink.

"What the hell do you want Malfoy?" Harry said angrily. Draco saw him gripping his wand in his pocket and he couldn't help but take a cautious step back.

"Uhm.." Draco didn't know where to start, he had never apologized to anyone besides his parents before and he never would have thought in a million years he'd have to apologize to Harry. "I..uhm.."

"Malfoy, I have better things to do then stand around here with you while you struggle to speak, so I think I'll be going now." Harry said in a huff, turning away from the blonde again.

"I'm...I'm sorry!" Draco blurted out quickly, not wanting to miss his chance.

Harry stopped, and looked over his shoulder,

"..What?"

"I didn't mean to say what I almost had said in class about Granger," Draco started, looking down at the floor, "I know she's a good friend of yours and it wasn't right of me to do that so...I'm sorry. Really, I am.."

Draco looked back up at Harry, who was staring at him hard. There was silence between them for a moment before Harry spoke,

"What...game are you playing here Malfoy?" Harry said in a demanding tone as he whipped his wand out, "What is it that you want?"

Draco back up several steps warily and brought his arms up slightly even though he knew it wouldn't defend him if Harry decided to cast a spell. Instead he tried to keep himself calm and he started talking slowly,

"I'm not playing a game Potter. I just-"

But Harry wasn't having it and wasn't listening,

"First you stood up for me against Snape, then you're being nice, and now you're apologizing to me?" Harry nearly shouted, tightening his grip on his wand, "This isn't the Malfoy that's taunted me and my friends for years and I know you wouldn't act this way unless you were after something. So what is it that you want from me Malfoy?"

Draco didn't respond at first, he actually didn't know how to respond, everything Harry said was true after all. He remained quiet for a second as he looked down at the hand that was gripping the wand pointed at his chest. Draco looked back up and he met Harry's stare,

"..Am I really that bad of a person that you can't ever believe I could be good?"

Harry looked at him, clearly thrown off guard by that question, surprise and shock evident on his face. His eyes had widened and he lowered his wand slightly,

"...What do you mean?" Harry asked in a softer tone.

"I mean..." Draco swallowed the lump in his throat, "I mean I'm trying to be better.."

"EXPELLIARMUS!"

Blaise shouted, appearing from behind Draco, knocking Harry's wand from out of his hand. He had chased after Draco when he ran past but didn't see anything aside from Harry having his wand out and pointed at his best friend. Blaise stood in front of Draco shielding him,

"Blaise wait!" Draco started, getting in front of Blaise, "This isnt-"

"What the hell is going on here?!" Blaise shouted, trying to push Draco aside but he looked down at the blonde and said through gritted teeth, "If he hurt you, Drake I swear on my life I'll-"

"Blaise, for MERLINS SAKE, I am FINE." Draco snapped back, "I'll explain later-"

"But he-"

Draco looked at him and Blaise fell into silence, reading what he was thinking just by looking at his face. He lowered his wand slowly, gave Harry one last death glare, Blaise picked up his bag that had slipped off before walking away angrily. Draco knew how his anger was so he figured it'd be best to let him cool off for a bit. Looking at Harry, whom was already looking at him, Draco mumbled out before leaving as well,

"I'm sorry."

_Am I really that bad?_

* * *

**_FINALLY I HAVE UPDATED. My muse finally decided to return and enlighten me with inspiration. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I've been working on it crucially this past week. Re-writing, expanding, cutting ideas, putting new ideas in, it's been difficult trying to form these chapters since they are so crucial to the story. It was meant to be longer but I felt I had deprived you guys long enough. This portion of the story may be longer then I had originally intended so Draco's part of the story will continue on for now, I will have each chapter labeled into its own parts. Forgive me for the long absence. I hope to update much faster now that I have more free-time and have more inspiration again. Reviews are much appreciated and they help me to write so please please review! My Muse thrives on it!_**


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